maxbot

bot that posts quotes from your favorite hyperkinetic rabbity thing every half hour 🐰 (mostly canon, some shitposts) — @freeIancequotes is my other half ☆

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

A twenty year old space food stick makes an excellent bludgeon! By the way, you can put your hands down now.

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

Don’t be such a worrywart, Sam. If it makes you feel any better, I PROMISE to take you with me when I merge with the godhead!

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

I take my coffee green... like my men!

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

''Glean''? Is that a real word, Sam?

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN, FOR GOD’S SAKES! PUT ‘EM DOWN, NOW!!!

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

i really wish i was simmering in a pan with various mushrooms and spices right now

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

Curses! Thwarted by a clip-on tie... It's like prom night all over again.

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

When are we gonna get another case, Sam? Surely the local lawbreakers must miss our esoteric brand of personalized criminal justice!

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

ARE YOU READY FOR DEEP, MUSCULAR TORMENT?

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

Umm, I pray Sam’s flimsy sheet doesn’t blow off. If I were to glimpse his hideous junk I’d have to bloink my tortured eyeballs out with a soup spoon.

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

Don't worry, miss! A boat will be along shortly, and that means sailors! Yup, you'll get picked up alright.

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

The pain is almost euphoric, Sam.

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

Hit me again, I like it!

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

It’s simple, Sam! The red cable goes on the right nipple, and the black cable clamps to the ba-

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

I laughed. I cried. I took my medication to even out my mood swings.

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

We could just... give ourselves tongue baths, like cats and flight attendants do!

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

This is your final warning! Pull over, or die.

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

i am just a nasty sickly little creature defying god’s will against my existence out of pure hubris and spite

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

Well they don't SEEM like bad people... maybe we could just shoot them?

[maxbot @lagomorphquotes]

Yeah, touching is my third favorite thing to do to things! ...In case anyone was curious, second is ''licking''.