lex ❃

• veni vidi vici •

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

This is so good https://t.co/4hiIrpPWMf

[David Leavitt 🎲🎮🧙‍♂️🌈 @DavidLeavitt]

“There is somebody dead.”

“Stop the show. Stop the show. Stop the show.”

And the #AstroWorld show continued

https://t.co/uHJKGiSosX

[lex ❃ @laityalexis]

@opaltheoracle @Ashleysmashh last night 😂

[lex ❃ @laityalexis]

Worked the first four hours of my serving shift today with my shirt on inside out 🙂

[𝐒 𝐄 𝐑 𝐈 𝐍 𝐀 @Muva_Monster]

To all of my friends in Texas who may find themselves pregnant: I just want you to know that I would love for you to come for a visit. It's been so long since we've spent time together, and it would be my privilege to host you, help to schedule any totally random appointments-

[Tumi @Tumi213]

Imagine an episode of The Office where they all have to get vaccinated

[mar @itsmariannnna]

microdosing an orgasm by rubbing my eyes

[mariah @MaRiahChambers]

i’m actually tired bro, like from the bottom of my heart. i am tired.

[Hannah Thomasy, PhD @HannahThomasy]

It's wild that everyone is freaking out about the AZ vaccine causing blood clots (1 in 250,000 chance) and no one bats an eye at birth control having a ONE IN A THOUSAND risk of blood clots.

[Austin J. Clements @ClementsAustinJ]

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

--my 2yo, clear as a bell, in the middle of PetSmart, upon seeing a snake in real life for the first time

[Tana Mongeau @tanamongeau]

i want pickles and dick. in no particular order. a dickle if you will

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

Going to the bathroom at work is microdosing vacation

[lex ❃ @laityalexis]

This whole thread 🥺

[Bonnie ✮ @Babybonnieee]

U ever look at someone & just hope they’re in ur life forever

[sarah ✨ @bysarahcraig]

A first-year student at Yale died by suicide and all I can think about is how every time I ask my college friends how they’re doing it’s the same answer of burnout and exhaustion and general unwellness

[EK @ysaintess]

I’ve tested positive for needing a fucking vacation

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

I don't want to work 5 days a week and figure out what to cook for dinner everyday I want to lie on a rock in the sun like a lizard