Lake Corp™

Lake Corp Twitter Division. Pioneering innovation with a smile!

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

We at Lake Corp are proud to announce that we are one of the lucky few receiving weapons-grade plutonium from the United States government! At Lake Labs, we promise to use this responsibly. We’re already hard at work on the Pert Shampoo Reactor!

[FactPost @factpostnews]

The Trump administration has moved to provide weapons-grade plutonium to private start-ups.

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

Lake Labs has taken the initiative to annihilate all local bug life. We’ve place a 50-foot tall electric bug zapper (powered by nuclear energy) in the center of the lake. The bugs will chum the waters, leaving local fishermen satisfied.

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

I challenge you to think of a word that describes an immeasurable amount of pain and suffering. Whatever word you’ve come up with, it doesn’t compare to how we feel at Lake Corp. The new “Oreo Swirl” sucks - it’s not even Oreo. #BringBackOreoSwirl for REAL @dunkindonuts

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

We here at Lake Corp are proud to announce that @dunkindonuts is FINALLY bringing back Oreo Swirl. This is a monumental moment for us. As you know, we have been single handedly posting the hashtag #BringBackOreoSwirl for years now and the day has finally come. You’re welcome!

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

It’s become clear that somebody is intentionally leaving squashes outside of Lake HQ. Should this problem persist, Lake Corp execs will be left with no choice but to get physical (I/E Doug with a blowtorch and a can of hairspray). This is your final warning, squash boy.

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

Merry Lakesmas from Lake Corp LLC! This year, we’re offering a 3 Hr Shark trip for the winner of a competition: who at LC can chug the most High Noons without dying?!?

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

Did you catch our latest interview with the Onion? If not, here’s a quick snippet! Check it out!

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

A Lake Corp employee ordered a pizza from Enrico’s and got this. Is this some kind of sick joke?

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

We can’t help but notice that @dunkindonuts has NOT brought back the Oreo Swirl yet. As a large corporation ourselves, we cannot comprehend the business decision being made here. #BringBackOreoSwirl

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

To whomever keeps airdropping this photo around Lake Corp HQ, please stop.

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

WHAT HAVE WE DONE

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

BREAKING NEWS AT LAKE CORP!! We officially created our first autonomous robot. It is specifically designed to break kneecaps & “do the dirty” to those who ask nicely. Though it has acted up from time to time. Watch out below!

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

THERE’S A GIANT SPIDER IN THE LAKE CORP EMPLOYEE BATHROOM AND IT BROKE THE DYSON

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

Still waiting on that Oreo Swirl @dunkindonuts #BringBackOreoSwirl

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

We at Lake Corp LOVE this idea and would do literally anything to have a golden check mark. However, corporate is telling us we can’t spend our budget on this. Just pretend that we have a golden check mark next to our name pls. Thx 💛

[DogeDesigner @cb_doge]

Small business owners can get a golden checkmark on 𝕏 for just ~$167 per month by signing up for the basic annual plan of Verified Organizations.

This plan also includes $2,500 in free advertising credits.

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

Lake Labs scientists have determined that we are all destined to become crabs. This is a fascinating step in human evolution #Carcinisation #LakeCorpCrabDivision

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

Lake Corp executives are currently expanding their time on holiday to commemorate the loss of a VIG (very important gator). He will be missed at @Gatorland #RIPChester

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

We plan on buying an additional property across the lake. We’ll be expanding our resources to achieve even greater accomplishments. The first thing we’ll be doing on the new property is hosting a public “Biggie Cheese” event. Everyone’s invited!

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

Lake Corp is proud to announce our new logo, created entirely legally this time!

[Lake Corp™ @lake_corp]

We recently noticed some suspicious activity on our website. We would like to make a quick PSA that anyone caught trying to hack into our site will be met with extreme resistance (i.e. Doug with a nail gun). If you are currently doing this, please stop immediately. Thank you.