that being said I know why cave divers do their thing even though this is way less dangerous. I understand. its literally sooooo fun. Im so excited to reach the point where I feel confident in lead belaying and have it down pat.
lead belaying is kinda terrifying. you would think its not scary at all to be the one on the ground but actually climbing and falling is nothing compared to feeling like Im holding a gun aimed at my climbing partner that I can only put down when we're both on the ground.
Im doing this for fun????? hey lets go do this thing we both love and have fun doing and btw I could hurt you so bad if Im not locked in. being in a car with a moderately safe driver at least makes getting hit by another car feel less intentional.
Me: I have Tuesday, September the 1st available?
Customer: Tuesday September 1st... What day is that?
he realized immediately I think but it was funny at least.
we talked about psychosis and how lotsa people want the reality they perceive to be safe while othering psychotic+ people. if they believe really really hard, what they think is true will be so + will be better for it. and I opened the door to the car halfway through a sentence
talked in the car with my climbing partner about this but Im still not over how bad feeling bad feels. holy shit. life can be so beautiful when you arent super mega ultra suicidal 100% of the time. has anyone tried this yet?