Beth

[Theo Dorsman @TheoDorsman]

@AnnapolisBlues My wife @lalalabeth coined “The Purple Derby” as the name for this matchup. Feisty match last time…let’s win this final. #UpTheBlues 🔵 🦀

[Shweta Ghosh PhD @DrShwetaGhosh]

After today’s death sentence, what will you do @NIH_ORWH to ensure the security of science and research that advances the needs of women’s health? The sound of crickets?

[Beth @lalalabeth]

Preference

[Beth @lalalabeth]

May just fall in love with an OC native this weekend ❤️

[Beth @lalalabeth]

@instagram wtf my Mom’s account got hacked and no one will help her get it back 😭😭😭

[Katie Ryan @KatieAva3]

Ava overheard someone using the phrase “clean as a whistle” Ava - “why do people say that? A whistle literally has spit all over it.”

[feminist next door @emrazz]

You’re not “pro-life,” you’re anti-choice. Your position is that your beliefs about someone elses body are more important than their own. If you’re willing to take such a self important view, own it. Stop trying to rebrand oppression.

[Matt Shirley @mattsurely]

Everyone has those 1 or 2 or 90 high school friends who fell for a multilevel marketing scam.

[Rose Ellen Dix 🌹 @RoseEllenDix]

Guys I just remembered when Dennis Quaid announced his own presence in that coffee shop for Ellen and I FUCKING CRY LAUGHED FOR LIKE 12 SOLID MINUTES

[mamrie hart @mametown]

When your friend is clearly making a bad choice but they’ve already called you out for being too judgey.

[Shenanigans @Shenanigans_luv]

BARISTA: what can I get you

ME: medium roast please

B: ok, your gray roots are getting obvious and you have the silhouette of a potato

M: *under breath* damn

[Paige @PaigeWesley897]

“Where you from?”

“Maryland”

“What part?”

“Cecil county”

“??????”

“5 minutes south of PA border, 5 minutes from the Delaware border basically the corner”

“??????”

“Baltimore, I’m from Baltimore and live in a crab shell” https://t.co/d7kllMe6ov

[Beth @lalalabeth]

@bnabb_ Ugh. My heart. I remember that Dot costume 😭😭😭

[Beth @lalalabeth]

Just discovered #SelfHelplessPodcast and @KelseyCook has me way too close to feng shui-ing my room instead of studying 😳

[Alana Calvert @AlanaCalvert]

Season one of 'The Good Place':
Ep 1: Cool concept. I'll watch it while I eat my food
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Ep 4: I feel vaguely entertained
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Ep 9: I don't know how I got here but I can't stop
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Ep 13: I NEED THIS SHOW LIQUIDISED AND HOOKED UP TO MY VEINS

[Beth @lalalabeth]

@Kcunningham7Kc @LewdDad Hahahahahaha sorry 😂

[Beth @lalalabeth]

@rileighsmirl @Stillbuff @gabydunn and @AllisonRaskin would be be amazing 😍