Mike Tyson

| Fall Down 7 Times, Stand Up Eight | Parody | Not Affiliated With Mike Tyson |

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

Fat chicks always wanna say "Let me sit on your face". B*tch thats premeditated murder.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

If cheerleading is a sport then so is beer pong.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

We know girls who always complain how they can't ever find love on twitter and Facebook but they treat every guy like shit in person.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

Girls are never straight up so you can't tell how they really feel.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

The girls I'm texting past midnight are either the ones I like or the ones I'd like to get with.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

It should be illegal for females over 200 pounds to wear tight clothing.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

Fuck what you heard. Try asking me first.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

Music is my escape.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

All dippers will share dips with other fellow dippers. We know what it's like to not have a can.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

Women who cheat on their husbands who are in the military should be punched straight in the face.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

I'm one of those people who is always hungry.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

Me: Babe, are you jealous? Her: No Me: Are you sure? Her: Yes Me: Then kiss me. Her: GO KISS THAT WHORE WHO LIKED YOUR STATUS ON FACEBOOK!!!

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

Fantasy Football starts off as something fun with friends. It's about this time that "Fun" takes itself out of the equation.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

With gas being this expensive, we aren't just coming over to "chill."

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

RT if you've seen TWO of your followers naked

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

The word "queef" was only invented because "pussy farts" just sounds awful.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

You bitches need to get real. When y'all describe "the perfect man" it sounds like you want an obedient dog instead of a boyfriend.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

Never let a phone conversation go on with a woman longer than you are able to have sex with her.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

[Mike Tyson @lamMikeTyson]

Why can't I just open my eyes one morning with a ton of energy and not lay in bed for half an hour.