lance

Ba-Da-Bing

[lance @lancer0X13]

Ben Johnson to the Bears 🐻 ⬇️

[ᐱ ᑎ ᑐ ᒋ ᕮ ᒍ @Andr3jH]

"My contention is that prior to the Trojan war, the political structures of the Greek kingdoms, especially in the island territories could most aptly be characterized as...

Ofc that's your contention. You're a young aristocrat who just finished listening to some wandering poet, probably that hack from Pylos. You'll be convinced of that until next month when you hear the bard from Sparta. Then you'll be taking about how the kingdoms of Mycenae and Thebes were models of divine rulership back in our grandfathers' time. That will last until next year when you're back to regurgitating Mentor's speeches about the sacred bonds between king and people and the divine right of succession.

"Well as a matter of fact I won't because Mentor completely overlooks the importance of...

"Mentor completely overlooks the importance of the council of elders in tempering royal authority, especially in matters of inheritance..." you got that from Halitherses' speech at last year's spring festival, right? Yeah, I heard that too. Were you going to plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or is that your thing. You come to a feast, quote some elder, and pawn it off as your own idea to impress Penelope and embarrass my son Telemachus?"

[lance @lancer0X13]

@Wisconsin_fam Nick Barnett

[lance @lancer0X13]

@Ihartitz

[lance @lancer0X13]

Draft has been mocked

[lance @lancer0X13]

Gen-Z’s Sam Bradford

[Trevor Sikkema @TampaBayTre]

We use the word “generational” far too much in sports conversations. But Kirk Cousins’ bag man is truly generational

[Ian Hartitz @Ihartitz]

Me at 5:00 tomorrow

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

Aliens (completely bewildered): so the groundhog

Me: is clairvoyant, yes

[lance @lancer0X13]

@Alsboringtweets

[lance @lancer0X13]

@barstoolsports

[lance @lancer0X13]

“But why is the eggnog gone?”

[Banished Kent @kentbanishearl]

“Santa Claus is real.”

“No, he’s not.”

“Yes he is, I've seen him.”

“You've seen him?”

“Yes.”

“You've seen a sleigh with eight tiny reindeer that's crewed by the elves, and captained by a man so jolly that Heaven itself sent him back down?”

“No.”

“No.”

“But I have seen a sleigh with reindeer.”

“Oh, and no sleigh that's not crewed by the elves and captained by a man so jolly that Heaven itself sent him back down could possibly have reindeer, therefore couldn't possibly be any other sleigh than Santa’s. Is that what you're telling me?”

“No.”

“Like I said, there's no real Santa that can deliver the presents.”

[lance @lancer0X13]

@RiseNDraft

[lance @lancer0X13]

@Patriots @TreVeyonH4

[lance @lancer0X13]

@BenjaminSolak Starring Nicholas Cage

[lance @lancer0X13]

@acosta32_jp Didn’t another qb win the MVP throwing the same route to the same receiver?🤔

[lance @lancer0X13]

@LedyardNFLDraft 0

[lance @lancer0X13]

@colincowherd

[lance @lancer0X13]

@saywhatneedsto Jaycee Horn has to be an honorable mention for, “putting 5 in a car seat” 😂

[lance @lancer0X13]

@elitetakes_ Dude went full Adam Gase…Never go full Adam Gase