Lance Waste

Songwriter @ Darling Waste. Game Master @ Tales of Aona. Girl dad.

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

@Simon_Ingari LinkedIn is over there

[Ashtyn Butuso @lil_buts]

Please god do not ask Rudy Gobert about Hantavirus

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

Ok I'll try. I don't know if they'll listen to me.

[Neil Stone @DrNeilStone]

There should be NO pharmaceutical ads on TV

Ban them immediately

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

You ever quit a job application halfway through because they’re asking too much?

[Jacob @AndThatsBB]

I miss old lineup construction:
1. Fastest player
2. Bat control guy (he sucks)
3. Best all-around hitter
4. Best power hitter
5. Lumbering power or bust hitter
6. High-OBP guy who leads off now
7. Bad switch hitter
8. Catcher
9. Gold Glove defender (-5 DRS, can't hit)

[ajanwachuku. @ajanwachuku]

I hate when my side hustle (my job) gets in the way of my main hustle (dilly dallying)

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

I’m getting really fucking tired of being told what to do by people who go to church inside of an old Sears

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

I've been asked to switch seats a few times. I always say "no I'm sorry I've seen Final Destination too many times to allow that"

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

@lorahmoe "makes sense"

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

I sent a bottle of sparkling apple juice to your house. Did you get it?

[Jenni @hashjenni]

“THe PoPe ShOuLd StAy OuT oF pOliTiCs.”

The President should stay out of children.

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

Godzilla -0 looks so goddamn good. I can't wait.

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

@ThatEricAlper Jimmy Page or Roger daltry

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

@halenhargreevs Daddy I'm finesinead oconner

[The Goddamned Penguin @who_shot_jgr]

writing an e-mail and getting a prompt from AI "this sentence could be more concise"

no. i am verbose. i am loquacious. i am long-winded and often redundant even. you machine, do not tell me how to form my words

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

1. I feel like its weird that one of the things you get to do in heaven is watch people jerk off. That seems like a weird perk for leading a pious life.
2. I never knew I had a "1 million angels watching" kink until this second.
3. Fuck Elon musk, bring back twitter.

[⁠♡ @__Tanya7__]

If you are about to watch p0rn, remember all these angels are watching you.

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

@otokyo American Beauty

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

@KenCarman In 96 or 97 I got to go down on the field and hang out near 3rd base with Matt Williams. He went and got Orel Hershiser and the witnessed to me about Jesus for some reason. So that was...something. Imma go with Buddy Bell.

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

@KenCarman Big. Same.

[Lance Waste @lancewaste]

I pulled over on the goddamn Williamsburg bridge when the Diamonds From Sierra Leone Remix dropped.

[Eric Alper 🎧 @ThatEricAlper]

What is the last song that made you pull over your car because you needed to hear it properly? Name it.