clinically-dramatic.xd

I stared at my phone for so long that I grew a glass face. ✨
🦇 bi / poly — she/her — soft cancer bby 🦀 — 30 ✨
'punk pop on rollback' ✨

[brontë bar wench @a22kay]

a pale immortal trading their immortality for the love of a human is actually a very important trope to me

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Things most Americans agree on:

Groceries cost too much.

Tariffs suck and make no sense.

Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks.

The debt is a mess.

The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.

Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.

Americans are exhausted.

AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you.

Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.

Canadians are super fucking cool.

Mexicans are chill.

Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.

Good neighbors are a blessing.

Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.

We all question, are we alone in the universe?

We all fuck up along the way.

Epstein didn’t hang himself.

The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.

The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!

Things we’re told to fight about:

Me.
Laptop.
Vaccines.
Transgenders in sports.
Pronouns.

That’s the joke.

[^_^ @goneforthenight]

gay people are unreal i just bought my friend a coffee and he said “I’m going to lick you clean later” . hey man you can just say thank you i think

[A.V. Marraccini @saintsoftness]

Meanwhile, the sleeper:

[A.V. Marraccini @saintsoftness]

I can’t believe I share a life with this perfect, beautiful creature. She is about 4.5 lbs and controls everything. I do not shower alone. I love her.

[Friends of Bear Cat Rescue @feederofcats]

Dingy is a ~2.5 year old spayed female who enjoys running around very fast, playing with toys, and generally being kind of weird. She has big eyes and is one of the cutest cats I've ever seen. Why is she still here?!

[polly @polyfraggrenade]

cozy farming simulator mutating into a twin peaks tier soap opera is a hilarious concept

[Kiwi & Goose @KiwiCat0703]

The return of the queen

[monkey & zoe ❤️ oreo 🌈 @oreoeocat]

Happy Mother’s Day from Monkey (a mama’s girl) and Zoe (a mama) 🥰

[🏳️‍🌈 fenner 🥦🏳️‍🌈 @fenner_0]

@oreoeocat Incredible alien lifeform

[C 💒 @churchofysl]

any time i hesitate trying a new restaurant because im scared its going to be bad and a waste of money i remember bourdain’s advice that to be a foodie you must never be afraid to have a bad meal.

[TMZ @TMZ]

TMZDC Staff Starts Today!!! https://t.co/KmnBdeJTaA

[Dr. Daria Pidhorodetska @AstroDaria]

Turn on your replies so I can tell you about all of the ways you can work at NASA without a STEM degree 🥹

[monkey & zoe ❤️ oreo 🌈 @oreoeocat]

Mad that I was taking pics of Monkey and not her

[Jay 🍄 @FungalisedJay]

that dude was right jjk really is like having your dick sucked