Lando

he/him/king 5th Grade Peewee Soccer Champ, cheese enthusiast, drug aficionado, kleptomaniac, 5’8, LeHOE ♌️ tweets and opinions directly reflect my employer

[Lando @landom41]

Top Ten Foods, in no particular order
1.Sushi
2.Charcuterie
3.Fettuccine Alfredo
4.Quesadillas
5.Mozz sticks
6.Takis
7.Dumplings
8.Jamocha shake
9.Brownies
10.Steak

[trash jones @jzux]

"password is too weak" ok have you seen my country's democracy

[Aaron! @c6_shanky]

You take for granted the humble car napkin until you really need one

[D’licious Williams @WendWitch]

Today on the plane I opened my little milk for my coffee and it was pressurised from being in the sky and when I opened it a little bit squirted onto the laptop of the guy next to me and he screamed

[Trev @rizzbolt]

Let’s make it Four

[໊ @wynavira]

i always am about to go to sleep at a beautiful 11pm and then something happens to me

[JB Pritzker @JBPritzker]

The hidden force:

[Image Every May 9 @May9Image]

any. new bags yo’ure working on @Ziploc

[Sam Rudykoff @SamRudykoff]

I can’t even remember what the world is supposed to be like

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Do u wanna come over and lay in bed like the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Only until 6 months ago did I come to find out dirty soda means something different in Mormon land bc I saw one of those annoying GRWM Mormon mom vids and she was like “time for my treat! A dirty soda for the ride home” and I was like ain’t no way this bitch is drinking lean

[Chris Meloni @Chris_Meloni]

“Oh do you think he was referring to you”

BRILLIANT

[Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan]

We’re governed by fucking morons

[fishious @fishquichee]

My five year plan is to see how it goes

[ste(ph)en @stephenjmolloy]

*air horn sound*
*second air horn sound*
Me: "This isn't deodorant."

[໊ @wynavira]

the power of a bowl of rice mixed with some fucking bullshit cannot be overstated

[UwUTangClan @Executivejeff1]

I'm pushing on pull doors in buildings you've never heard of

[m ✰ @mar3uss]

Then is crazy he tore lmfaoooooooo