Lane Ingram

Comedy performer, therapist, Texan, half-Mexican, all American

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

God put republicans on earth to test our faith.

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

Do u want to know how badass Tom Petty is? American Girl is the last song on the album. His debut album. The greatest opening song ever recorded and he’s like “nah that’s too obvious. Put that shit on last.”

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

Magic Mike > Dune

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

I'm in a thing!!! Vote! #vote

[Torpedo Productions @TorpedoATX]

In honor of the first day of early voting, we have a new horror short from Austin's @Blue_Goggles. The thrilling PSA highlights the power women have in the voting process and offers an inspirational message in response to the horrors sometimes connected with politics. #Vote

[Torpedo Productions @TorpedoATX]

In honor of the first day of early voting, we have a new horror short from Austin's @Blue_Goggles. The thrilling PSA highlights the power women have in the voting process and offers an inspirational message in response to the horrors sometimes connected with politics. #Vote

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

Trump is so excited to reopen businesses he’s printing adorable Make America Sick Again hats

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

Was Freud into MILFs? Let’s just say he practically wrote the book on them.

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

Would’ve made it to work sooner but I got stuck in the kitchen.

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

2019: Dogs are the best.
2020: Dogs are the best.

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

2019: Hey I hear you know a doctor. Could they write me a prescription?

2020: Hey I hear you know somebody who works at HEB. Could they score me some butter tortillas and bread that isn’t shitty as hell?

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

DAY 1 OF THE QUARANTINE: All these conspiracy theories are insane.
DAY 8: The coronavirus was created in a lab to prevent Liverpool from winning the Premier League.

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

I’m voting for whoever texts me the least! So far my father is in the lead.

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

Let the Roaring/Farting Twenties begin!

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

I describe my physical appearance as “I’m not allowed into Miami”

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

The only thing that would make Once Upon a Time in Hollywood better is if it had MORE brad pitt driving.

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

Just a friendly reminder that The Last Jedi still has the highest metacritic score of any Star Wars movie except for A New Hope. Love you bye.

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

Young Sheldon, Baby Yoda, and The Young Pope in Two and a Half Mendalorian

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

Meet cute? Quentin Tarantino be like Feet cute. Merry Christmas.

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

I’ve lowkey had the Spaceballs song stuck in my head since 1987.

[Lane Ingram @laneingram]

The more attractive you are the less deodorant you are allowed to wear. I wear prescription strength deodorant.