Lanie B.

Inkuisitive | Copywriter | Editor| I ask questions. I ❤️ my husband @RexBarrett, son Bx (18?!😭), daughter Stella (11😲), long pants, & short explanations.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

I was debating in my head whether or not I was the most morbid person I know, when my daughter asked if you still have a tongue by the time you’re a skeleton.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

Sooo… are we now on 3 train derailments and 1 overturned semi, all carrying hazardous materials? Am I counting correctly? I’m not into conspiracy theories, but this frequency is awfully interesting.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

@rachaelreally @NuttleNews Well, I currently have an electrician here to fix my own weird lights so that I can finally live peaceably among the people. 🤪

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

The dogs were so bummed out the day they discovered I use the same tone of affection with the microwave that I do with them. But I just really love food.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

My Twitter feed is suddenly the Wild West—pistols twirling at high noon, all over the place! Where’s the saloon? I need me some sarsaparilly!

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

I’ve got the WI v. Darrell Brooks Jr. trial playing in the background. Gotta say, I feel awful for the garbage the judge and jury have gone through to get to today. Judge is currently plowing through some 70 pages of jury instructions, & will hit 30 more pages after lunch. Bless!

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

Hahahahahaaaaaaa! She said, "Can't even trust you with BBQ." 😅 #okgovdebate

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

Got distracted from work for a whole hour by falling into a Pinterest pit full of the best beige paints of Fall 2022, before I remembered I HATE beige paint & would never buy it on purpose. This is almost worse than the Shipping Container Hole of 2016.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

If anyone else felt the weather I’m feeling right now, they would know it’s about time to watch You’ve Got Mail, again.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

When Amazon drops by, I’m always anxious to see what Insomniac Me bought for Daytime Me. It’s perpetually Weird Christmas in my night brain—ever so slightly off the mark for Real Christmas.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

@patrickallmond Thanks for appreciating my work, Patrick.🫶🏼 The kids hate it when I practice interrogation methods on them, but it’s for the greater good.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

I hate when our internet goes down. It’s like they don’t know I’m over here solving homicides with Keith Morrison.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

Letter from the edge: State Fair was good as ever, and the food was so dialed in that every bathroom stall was singin’ a song about the heartland. My pants still fit, but the sun’s still up.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

Just learned that my daughter sees no point in visiting cemeteries:
“Why would I go walking on top of all those poor people just out there trying to be dead?”

She is very considerate.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

As I pulled away from my folks’ house, Dad hollered, “Don’t drive with your foot on the dash,” so now I’m definitely in high school again.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

Staying with my folks to help Mom recover from surgery. Dad’s contributions to my weight loss goals have been abysmal, and I just found three more boxes of brownie mix. If I locate a bag of Lays, I’ll officially be back in high school.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

As of July 5, the United States has the most confirmed unprovoked shark attacks in the world. THE WORLD.

As an Oklahoman, I’m always plotting what I’d do if a shark sprung up on me. Definitely fingers in the eyes, first. Like, claw-shaped hands. No more sharks on the prairie.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

@amandaswilliams I don’t open Twitter often, but every time I do, I see you doing something sunshiny, and I am satisfied that some things on here are worth the effort.

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

I’m angsty about how hard it is to create Good Habits. I’m more likely to grab a loaf of sourdough every time I’m at the store, even if I was at the store just YESTERDAY, than to “maintain good hydration, Lanie.”

[Lanie B. @laniebarrett]

Gave my girl a list of things to do, as she “wanted to use her brain for a little bit.” She tapped out after 20 minutes of piano to “do” art, AND can she borrow an electric drill?

Gulp. Y-yes?🫣

All the racket! Hope the house is still standing when she’s done using her brain.