alana

i’m not here for a long time, i’m here for a good time

[alana @lannzo_]

I love being happy

[dennis @dennismacelroy]

Drank 6 beers. Feel amazing. Surely 6 more will double this feeling

[hera @shiningdaisies]

minus the resting bitch face and the grumpiness and the hateful things i say i do think i am a ball of sunshine

[m̃ @hexesandspell]

God forbid a girl be both a muse and a menace.

[Evelyn @EvelyndefnotEve]

& while i was crying my eyes out over a man, i was still texting 3 other men

[miia @miiagarro]

yall seriously need to stop giving men the benefit of the doubt and start doubting the benefit of the man

[daisy “dan goose” tackett @fatstevebuscemi]

you’re in his DMs. i’m in his DMs. some random bitch is also in his DMs. that’s because he is a slut.

[alana @lannzo_]

oh look it’s me

[david @semisauced]

Stopped sharing my location with a girl I haven't talked to in 3 years and she texted me 6 min later asking why I did that

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Just letting everyone know I’m reading a book right now. I also drank 7 glasses of water yesterday. Im not saying explicitly that I’m a better person than you, but it is heavily heavily implied. Heaven is going to be awesome!

[LAMP @dirtylamp3]

Can’t name a time I didn’t figure it out

[hera @shiningdaisies]

i'd say i am pretty chill as long as i don't get irritated in any form whatsoever

[PopCulture @notgwendalupe]

25 years ago today, Monica & Chandler got married in 'Friends'

[rea @ReaBeee]

I really wish I was a woman of few words. Unfortunately, you will hear from me. 👍🏽

[McNasty @McNasty]

i wonder if ive ever bought milk from the same cow twice

[nick @saintplush]

why are threesomes only for sex why cant i join in a couples argument if i want to

[anon @AlenaDaOG]

why are all dildos circumcised?

[$T. NO @chaoticf4g]

i’m sorry but this is so fucking funny to me ksjdksjd

[zoro @desi0re]

he ate so bad

[Libriscent @libriscent]

Someone just told me “micro joys are how you survive macro grief” and WOW did I need to hear that

[pinned 📌 @kuntimora]

I was moody as fuck arguing over bullshit with my friend today and they said
“oooo somebody’s about to get their period”
and I cussed them out for being misogynistic and stereotypical and then went to the bathroom and you’ll never guess what I saw when I pulled down my pants