🚨#BREAKING: The actor who ended up playing Joe Biden's body double for nearly two years will turn state's evidence to avoid jail time, according to sources close to the FBI's investigation.
"The suspect was hired to stand in one place for ten minutes," said a Special Agent. "That's how it began."
Before he knew it, the subject was sitting behind the Resolute Desk and taking calls from foreign leaders.
"A birthday party impressionist ended up the leader of the free world, if only for a few minutes here and there."
Dozens of West Wing staffers were complicit in pulling off the ruse.
"The whole building had to be in on it."
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@ArmedPatriot45 Speaking for all white men, we support your decision 100%. Of you were slimmer and had less hair, you could be mistaken for a fkn buffalo.
@corafortin Nah, descendants don’t owe you shit. You got 500,000 deaths for your freedom, and 40’acres and a mule. And currently $15 trillion in welfare, housing, and feeding your bastards.