Larry David

This is what it would be like if I really were on twitter...I don't like it.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

When HBO reminded me my documentary was being released the next day.

Me: Nyah...I don’t think so.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

BIPOC: How dare you take our lives.

Truckers: How dare you make us take vaccines to save our lives.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

We’ve passed the time where it’s acceptable to say Happy New Year.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

How am I the bad guy?

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

I’m back.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

People giving up their life’s work because they don’t want to get vaccinated. Sounds like a quitter to me.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

Fashion shows are too loud.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

Tennis is too loud.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

Is it safe yet? I hope not this isolation from people has been great.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

Seeing the 3 previous presidents, minus Trump, at the inauguration is like we’re erasing Trump from ever happening. Well done!

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

Trump sh*ts where he eats.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

This will be the most highly attended inauguration by an American flag in modern history.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

Pretty, pretty, pretty...pretty crazy!

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

The coronavirus “deniers” have shone a light on the real epidemic: the lack of people who have hobbies or anything else to do at all.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

@realDonaldTrump Nope.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

@realDonaldTrump Does it not matter that all your lawsuits have no proof of any of this and are thrown out of court, yet you keep saying it.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

@realDonaldTrump Yes I believe you, like when you said it’l just go away. Like a miracle. In April. 😂

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

@realDonaldTrump If you predict something that doesn’t come true then say that it did come true and that you said it would doesn’t make it true, it makes you a terrible magician.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

@realDonaldTrump Get a job.

[Larry David @larrydavidtv]

@realDonaldTrump How gracious and humble.