Ted Rayner

Libertarian tendencies, pro-human, anti-globalist, Professional Mariner and Environmentalist by definition: 'Doing my best not to spill oil on the beaches.'

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@Ramboghni Gross.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am a junior clerk of the FIFA Disciplinary Committee, and my association is registered under the law of Switzerland as a non-profit.

In the Zurich register we are listed between a hiking club and a choir, and in law we are the same category of entity. A choir with $3.9 billion in the bank fines a man $20,000 and calls it a deterrent. I keep that figure in the same drawer as everything else.

The reserves are $3.9 billion. The fine was $20,000. The register lists us between the hiking club and the choir. I have measured all three, and only the third did I ever question, and I did not question it long.

The first thing you learn at the desk is that the red card and the punishment are two separate documents. The red card is a permanent entry. The punishment is a separate document that a non-profit may suspend the execution of, at its discretion, from a reserve of $3.9 billion, and file where it will never have to be read beside the offense again. The boy who was sent off is guilty on the record forever and eligible to play. That is the most beautiful sentence in our entire code, and we wrote the shape of it for Ronaldo first, three matches, the final two suspended one year, before we ever had a boy going into a Round of 16.

Understand the mechanism. A straight red goes into the record and stays. Article 27 lets us suspend the execution of the sanction on one year of probation. The finding lives in one drawer. The consequence lives in another, dormant. What crossed my desk in the Balogun matter was a public post about reversing a great injustice, and after it, an Article 27 filing. The card stands. The boy plays. Both drawers are correct at once, and I am the one who keeps them from touching.

You will find there is a menu to this. A finding may be entered and executed. A finding may be entered and stayed. A finding may be published and disowned by its own author and remain, in our system, a published finding. A finding that the author of the finding calls erroneous is still a finding. We did that with a full report we kept for roughly three years and released as a summary the author called materially incomplete and erroneous. We can redact our own findings and file the redaction as diligence. The absence of a contract is itself a document, if you know how to file it, which is how a two million franc payment with nothing in writing became a disloyal payment and an eight-year ban rather than the thing a payment with nothing in writing usually is.

There are two chambers. One room investigates and delivers a final report. The next room, down the same corridor, in the same building, under the same roof, funded by the same association, decides whether to proceed and sets the sanction. We call the corridor between them independence. You will file under that heading. The heading is independence. That is where the folder goes. When I am asked to explain due process I do not reach for the statutes. I reach for a tape measure. Independence is 40 feet of carpet between one door and the next, and both doors lock from the same side. When a man walks from the first door to the second door he is walking the entire length of our independence, and I have measured it with more reverence than I have measured anything else.

Now the fine. A man is found guilty by the Adjudicatory Chamber and fined $20,000. I type the amount myself, from the reserves of $3.9 billion, as a deterrent. The comma goes after the twenty. I check it three times, because a deterrent must be exact. Not $19,000. Not $21,000. The exactness is the artistry. A round number would look arbitrary. A precise one looks like justice. The fine is the receipt. It proves we held a tribunal, and holding the tribunal is the product. The deterrent is a garnish, and I plate it beautifully. That $20,000 sits against a river of $150 million that moved through media-rights commissions over roughly 24 years, and I have read the entry against the reserve more times than any other line in the code. It is the most honest number the institution has ever produced, because it is the precise price of the finding, and it tells you what a finding is worth here to four significant figures.

The lineage is older than the fine. In May of 2015, before dawn, at the Baur au Lac in Zurich, officials were led out under white bedsheets. The commissions ran to $150 million over roughly 24 years, and every man of them was a member in good standing of the association, the choir, the hiking club, right up until the sheets went over. One of them wore a wire. Two were convicted. And the same institution that produced all of that also produced a two million franc payment with no contract, a disloyal payment, and the eight-year bans that followed, and a full report it commissioned and then kept for three years and released as a summary its own author disowned. I file the arrests, the wire, the bedsheets, the disowned report, and the $20,000 in the same cabinet, and the cabinet does not object.

The screaming has a drawer as well. When a federation calls one of our outcomes astonishing, and one did, astonishment is not a form we accept. It goes in the file marked correspondence. There is a drawer for the loud ones, and it fills every tournament, and I have never once opened it to read a reply, because the professionals never post. The men whose commissions ran to $150 million did not send us letters. They renewed their membership. And when you find yourself reading our findings and reaching for the exact figures to be angry about, precise to the last zero, you are one of us now. You are doing the arithmetic. You have accepted that the finding is the thing.

Which is only arithmetic in the end. Hold $20,000 beside $3.9 billion and understand that I am the disciplined one. When you can look at the two figures and feel nothing, when the comma is in its place and the drawer is shut, you are ready to answer the phone. I priced justice at $20,000 and drew it from a reserve of $3.9 billion, and every decimal was correct. I did not overturn anything. I cellared it, and I served it at the temperature the table could bear.

People come to my desk and ask where the independence is, where the deterrent is, whether justice was done. I tell them a red card is a permanent entry and the boy is eligible to play. I tell them the finding stands and the execution sleeps. I tell them the corridor is 40 feet. And when they say that none of that is justice, I write down what they said, and I file it, and I amend nothing, because in this house justice is whichever drawer the finding is already in.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@robinmonotti Strolls around, no diving, whining, or theatrical celebrations. Class act.

[Robin Monotti @robinmonotti]

There's a bit of a raw milk conspiracy air about this Haaland goal... 😎

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@sarobertson_ This fat cunt is probably not even anywhere near Ukraine like her boss. Green-screening somewhere in Brussels while the Kinshals, Iskanders and Gerands pummel the money laundering capital of Europe, Kiev.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@guyfelicella More Commies. Just what Canada needs.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@Gynchy @CoryBMorgan @scampycaaz More and more are using LNG as their primary fuel source and there are small refuelling tankers operating to service these ships. Three of these just in Vancouver alone. Are you aware that all deep sea ships are required to switch to low sulphur diesel when 200 miles off shore?

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@KirkLubimov Maybe in 20 years.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@BillHuxham Fair enough. I’m on one today, there were two yesterday. It goes up and down. There’ll be increasing numbers as daylight restrictions, dredging and trials for deeper drafts proceed.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@Gynchy @CoryBMorgan @scampycaaz Modern tankers are some of the most reliable, well built, professionally manned, regulated and operated vessels afloat. Are you on crack?

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@larold21 @CoryBMorgan @IBAConservative Coal is inert in water. Uncontrolled? WTF are you talking about? They can’t move a loading spout without an environmental assessment. Get your head out of your ass.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@BillHuxham @CoryBMorgan Three a week? Where’d you get that number? First Narrows is 15 metres at a zero tide. Second Narrows has a control depth of 13.4 meters and even less depending on the beam and draft of the ship.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@CoryBMorgan @madforfreedom It was the 3rd Mate named Gregory Cousins who left the traffic lane and grounded on Bligh Reef. Although the Captain, Joseph Hazelwood was ultimately responsible for the manning of the bridge, he wasn’t drunk on watch steering the Exxon Valdez with his hat on sideways. 🙄

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@BCPoliticsWatch @gghalicki @WSOnlineNews @AmazingZoltan Hilarious. Keep voting these retards in. Victoria/Vancouver, pro-native cuckolds hastening their own demise with the whole-hearted complicity of the NDP Lunatics. Love it. The sooner this will happen.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@RogerWPrice @sarobertson_ Yes. I happen to move tankers through Vancouver Harbour. We’ve done it safely since the ‘50’s. Now LNG out of Kitimat, LPG out of Rupert. Crude out of Rupert or Kitimat? Makes sense. No narrow bridge transits or dense marine traffic.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@sarobertson_ As a guy that actually moves tankers, I beg to differ. Although crude is not moving from the north coast due to the myopic decisions of 11 years of Liberal Retards, US tankers do move up and down off the west coast daily, and not 200 miles off-shore. That’s voluntary. Moron.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@PatrikMuncaster @sarobertson_ Please explain all of these other cheaper, abundant energy sources that will sunset oil.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@JeanLucMarches1 Don’t see any dicks glopping in front of children you fucking moronic pervert apologist.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@RealMattA_ I’m expecting the Highland Kamikaze Regiment to fling themselves into the mix. The girl shrieking orders is the icing on the cake. What a joke.

[Ted Rayner @larrythefurry]

@guyfelicella Cake walk. Bosnia? Qatar? South Africa? And people are bitching about the long published schedule of where the 32 and 16 rounds will be played.