We don’t heal alone. We’re social mammals who require the presence of another nervous system for critical developmental tasks, and our ability to co-regulate is vital for healing trauma.
Childhood trauma lies at the root of
addictions — alcohol, drugs, or internet addiction, gambling or shopping. They all are attempts to regulate internal emotional states.
People with a history of trauma often feel they bodies failed them. Our body responds to treat & it’s designed to protect us at all cost. This survival reaction is not done on a conscious level. Your body did what it was best for your survival.
If you experienced a traumatic childhood in which you felt frequently under threat, in danger, vulnerable, powerless, you may have develop a defense mechanism which takes the form of a desperate need to be in control at all times.
We always seek what is familiar in conscious and unconscious ways. But what if familiar wasn’t safe? This is why is so important to understand our patterns. It
“I got hit as a kid & I turned out fine.” Sincerely, people pleasers,control freaks, the emotionally unavailable, perfectionistics, workaholics, the overly independent, the anxious ones, caretakers with no limits, the recognition seeking people. Glad you turned out “fine.”
this world is so rough on us. cruel at times. I don’t want to add to that, I pledge myself to love. in all it’s forms. especially in those I’ve yet to learn.
“Interpersonal experience shapes the mind as it continues to develop throughout the lifespan... Interactions with the environment, especially relationships with other people, directly shape the development of the brain's structure and function.”
Daniel J. Siegel