Lucy

🩷💜💙♑️

[Mollie Goodfellow @hansmollman]

Finally a reason not to end it all

[trash jones @jzux]

just saw a girl in this coffee shop open Hinge, swipe for 30 seconds, then close the app and mouth the words "kill me" to herself. she is all of us

[RKK @rkktweets]

Thinking

[Cineworld @cineworld]

RT for your chance to win!

We’re not a regular cinema, we’re a cool cinema – so we’re giving away #MeanGirls goodie bags to 5 lucky winners. 💋

Enter by 23:59 on 23/01/2024 – T&Cs apply: https://t.co/uKWmaSIvXo

[Goth Shaggy Rogers @crumlingothic_]

Someone tell Morrissey he can finally go out tonight

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

German Shepherd husband? No thanks, I want a Springer Spaniel husband:

- uncomfortable in crowds
- constant eye contact
- follows you wherever you go
- jumps into random lakes at a moment’s notice

[Mollie Goodfellow @hansmollman]

This MOTD thing makes me feel like the guy best friend in Bridget Jones who runs into the restaurant and goes “it’s a fight, a real fight!!!”

[cate in the kitchen x @catekitchen]

My favourite part of going to the cinema is firing up the reviews on the way home and having a little man who writes for the guardian explain to me that the film I just enjoyed is shit actually and I was just too stupid to realise it

[Sandford Police Commentary @Sandford_Police]

Remember to recycle your pizza boxes

It’s for the Greta good

[Tara Watson @tara_watson_]

Millennial women have trust issues because we were told for three Bridget Jones movies that this woman wasn’t thin.

[Cait O'Ryan @_CaitlinORyan]

Wrote a poem about someone who pissed me off in the media recently 👀 No prizes for guessing who x

[PoliticsJOE @PoliticsJOE_UK]

A caller on BBC just called Matt Hancock a c*nt

[putasinghonit @putasinghonit]

The last six weeks living in the UK

[berry @sckberry]

claire, it’s FRENCH

[Lynsey James @LynseyJWrites]

At the moment, the UK feels like when Scar and his mates took over the Pridelands in The Lion King

[JustRandomThoughts @randomstuffxzxz]

Me to my brain when it reminds me of something embarrassing I said about 8 years ago

[JustRandomThoughts @randomstuffxzxz]

“_____that’s what I call music”

[Wisconsin Sass @WisconsinSass]

Once, a guy fucked the crease between my thigh and labia, thinking he was in my vagina, and when he finished he asked if I got off. I had to break it to him that he just fucked my leg. This is what I think of when men act like they’re equipped to make laws about women’s bodies.