Comedy or Fact

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[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they are more brave than I am.

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

You could give me 43 years to do
homework and I still wouldn't do
it until the night before.

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

I just bought an egg roll in Abia state and discovered garden egg inside. Aba people, why??

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

Instead of 'lol', why don't you try LOLWKASF? "Laughing Out Loud While Keeping A Straight Face."

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

Teacher: If James has 50 chocolate bars, and eats 45, what does he have? ME: Diabetes. James has diabetes.

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

There's no "we" in food. Get the fuck away from me.

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

Son: Hey dad,I got a girlfriend. Dad: Nice son,is she hot? Son: Hell yeah! Girl: Hey Dad! I got a boyfriend! Dad:*Loads shotgun*where is he?

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

Police: *Knock knock* Me: Who's there? Police: The police, we just wanna talk. Me: How many are you? Police: Three Me: Talk to each other

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

Dear slut, I'll love to kick you in the vagina but I don't wanna lose my shoe.

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

People: "I love when my boyfriend/girlfriend tells me they love me." Me: "I love when my microwave/MOM tells me that my food is ready."

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

Me + My best friend = TROUBLE

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

CHASE YOU? Bitch, is your name money.

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

If couples who are in love together are called "Love Birds". Then its safe to call couples who argue all the time "Angry Birds"

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

Life has many different chapters. One bad chapter doesn't mean it's the end of the book.

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

Why isn’t there a middle finger emoji I swear I would use it 99% of the time

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

At school: Slutty girl: ugh my throat really hurts. Me: I bet your knees do too. Her: what Me: what

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

RT IF YOU HATE: mondays -homework -fake friends -school -being ignored -drama -liars -an empty fridge -being replaced -slow Internet.

[Comedy or Fact @laughorlearn]

I say "I don't know" to everything when I'm in a bad mood.