LaughPosts℠

Laughing for ten minutes adds one day to your life, so, you'll live forever if you keep following me!

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

I don't care how old you are, if you don't respect me I'm not respecting you.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

I love those people you can joke around with and have so much fun with and then have a deep conversation with and it’s not weird at all.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Two days is not enough time for a weekend.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

I don't know why I'm not on the bed.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

"Look, officer, I'm not being a smartass. All I'm sayin' is if you caught me then you were speeding too".

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Those days when you wake up in the morning and suddenly hate everyone

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Don't ever be ashamed of who you are. Unless you're a hoe... Then be ashamed.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

My computer screen is brighter than my future.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Reasons to get out of bed: Food

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Without that little voice in your head you wouldn't be able to read this.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

If at first you don't succeed...buy her another drink.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

The sexiest thing about smoking cigarettes is the part when you don't smoke them.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

The best nights are usually unplanned, random, and spontaneous.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Bad decisions make good stories.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Me: Son of a BITCH

Dog: DON'T you dare drag my mother into this. She had a tough life. You try being a single mother to 7 kids

Me: Sorry

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

I hate it when girls act dumb because they think it's cute.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Shut up bitch, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Homework? Ain't nobody got time for that.

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?

[LaughPosts℠ @laughposts]

Typing "lol" when your face is showing less expression than a brick.