LQ

Taking each day one word at a time. So what if my thoughts are unconventional, aren't yours?

[0️⃣BlackBetty ⚓️ @BabyD1111229]

**FREE TO A GOOD HOME: KEVIN**

(I knew ya’ll need a 🤣🤣🤣)

Affectionately named after the screaming bird in the Disney Movie "UP". Now accepting applications for the privilege of removing him from our property.

Are you tired of sleeping past 4:00 a.m.? Do you worry that your neighbors might secretly like you? Are the small children in your life becoming a little too comfortable outdoors?

Kevin can help. 🤭

This premium Tractor Supply Special was sold as a “100% sexed female,” making him both a rooster and an excellent introduction to consumer fraud.

Kevin comes fully equipped with:

**A commercial-grade alarm system**
Activates around 4:00 a.m. and repeats every 2.5 minutes. No batteries, electricity, sunrise, emergency, or identifiable reason required. Cannot be disabled.

**Advanced property-security technology**
Deters mail carriers, visitors, toddlers, and any remaining goodwill between you and your neighbors.

**Selective predator response**
When a hawk attacked our flock, Kevin immediately took control of the situation by shoving past the hens and saving the chicken he values most: himself. 😝 The rest of the flock gained valuable independence and problem-solving experience.

**A youth enrichment program**
Kevin recently began chasing small children, helping them improve speed, agility, situational awareness, and respect for poultry. 😝 He is especially courageous when his opponent is under four feet tall and holding a juice box. 😝

**Executive-level leadership**
Kevin contributes no eggs, provides no protection, accepts no feedback, and spends most of the day loudly announcing accomplishments nobody witnessed. 😝
He is ready for upper management.

**Outstanding curb appeal**
He is, unfortunately, very handsome. This has allowed him to avoid consequences for much longer than his personality warrants.

Kevin would be perfect for an experienced rooster owner with plenty of land, no small children, distant neighbors, strong fencing, excellent health insurance, and a deep personal dislike of silence.

His rehoming fee is **$0**, reflecting both his market value and our level of desperation. 🤣🤣

We will include his complete service history, which is just a blank sheet of paper with “SCREAMING” written across it.

Please share. Somewhere out there is a person whose mornings are peaceful, whose children are fearless, and whose neighbors still wave to them.

Kevin is ready to fix all three.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Bam. Lamb 🤭
🎩unknown

[Grey Wolff @GWolff815]

A Call for Attendance has been issued for an unaccompanied veteran funeral on Tuesday, September 15, 2026, at 11:00 AM.

The service will honor Kenneth Biggs, a veteran who is being laid to rest with no known family to attend.

More information 👇

[Joe Kinsey @JoeKinseyexp]

102-year-old WWII vet Sverre Vinje, who saw action in Iwo Jima & Okinawa, sang God Bless America last night in Milwaukee.

[OkieMaga_Patriot46 @Okie_Patriot46]

I need to make a very PUBLIC announcement on behalf of younger GenXers and older Millennials.

If you see someone in their 40s or 50s who seems a little boring now, I need you to understand something...

We already got it in.

Like...GOT. IT. IN.

We are not sitting home on a Friday night because we never knew how to have fun.
We are sitting home on a Friday night because we have seen enough.

We went to parties in houses that should have been condemned and were almost certainly owned by the local drug dealer.

We saw police lights and RAN and not across a nice, flat field.
INTO THE WOODS.

Do you understand the athleticism required to hurdle uprooted tree roots in platform shoes while simultaneously trying to keep your low-rise jeans from sliding completely off your ass?

And somehow...we never spilled the Zima. We never spilled the Boone’s Farm.

That was TALENT.

We slept on floors in strange houses because the designated driver either never showed up or, in a shocking turn of events, was drunker than everybody else.

There was no Uber, Life360 or Find My Friends.
There was just somebody named Mike saying, “I know a shortcut.”

And we FOLLOWED MIKE.

We closed down bars and then decided the night was still young, so we drove to Atlantic City, where we somehow managed to get drunk, sober up, get drunk again, sober up again and then get drunk a THIRD TIME before breakfast.

And according to our parents? We were at Michelle’s house.

Eating pizza and watching movies.

Michelle’s mother unknowingly covered for approximately 17 people every weekend. If there even was a Michelle.

We drank things called Purple Passion, Mad Dog 20/20 and whatever somebody mixed inside a giant plastic garbage can. Nobody asked what was in it. You grabbed a red Solo cup and trusted the process.

We went to clubs until the lights came on. Do you know the psychological damage of seeing a nightclub with the LIGHTS ON? Nothing good happens after those lights come on.

We danced for four straight hours in shoes that permanently altered the structure of our feet.

We made entire plans without cell phones...no texts, dropped pins or group chats...just an extremely questionable sense of direction.

We rode in cars with 11 people when the vehicle legally seated five. Someone was always sitting on someone. Someone was always in the hatchback.
And there was always one friend yelling, “DUCK!” when we passed a cop.

So yes...now we like being home.
We like sweatpants.
We like cancelling plans.
We like saying, “That sounds fun!” with absolutely no intention of attending.
We like restaurants at 5:30 because we can get a good table.
We like being home by 8:17.

And if someone texts at 9:30 PM and says, “What are you doing?”
Sleeping...we are sleeping.

Because this is not boring my friends...this is retirement.

We already played, partied and danced on the bar.
We already ran from the cops through a wooded area dressed like a Spice Girl.

We have stories that cannot be posted because there are still people with careers, marriages and reputations to protect. And thank GOD there were no camera phones.

So kids, when you look at your Gen X and older Millennial parents sitting peacefully on the couch watching Dateline at 8 PM and think:
“God, you guys are boring.”

Sweetheart...oh sweetheart.
You are looking at retired legends.

Put some respect on our names. We're probably the reason Life360 was invented.

xoxoxo (posted from someone else on FakeBook) 🤣 #genx #oldandtired

[James Rosen @JamesRosenTV]

This is the most chilling article about #September11 I’ve read on this somber anniversary. “The Untold Pre-History of 9/11” is written by @USNatArchives official @ChrisNaylor__ for @TheNatlInterest. Its opening scene will blow your mind. #NeverForget911 https://t.co/pggAdk47xe

[Nicole Sganga @NicoleSganga]

Shanksville, PA — Artists draw in stunning detail the 40 passengers and crew members of United Flight 93 who fought back against hijackers… 25 years later. @CBSNews

[Wesley Hunt @WesleyHuntTX]

Twenty-five years after September 11th, an entire generation of Americans has grown up with no memory of that morning.

That makes teaching them what happened more important, not less.

They need to know who attacked us, why America was attacked, what we lost, and what happened next.

They should know about the innocent Americans who went to work and never came home.

The firefighters and police officers who ran toward burning buildings.

The passengers of Flight 93 who fought back. And the generation of Americans who raised their right hands and went to war because their country had been attacked.

History cannot become something we soften, sanitize, or allow to disappear with the generation that lived through it.

Because history forgotten becomes history vulnerable to repetition.

[the Sports ON Tap @thesportsontap]

In 2013, Mariano Rivera announced it was his last season.

Every team in baseball lined up to give him retirement gifts. A gold record. A rocking chair made from broken bats. A fire hose nozzle from the FDNY.

He accepted all of it.

But at every single ballpark, he asked for something else first.

He wanted to meet the employees.

Not the executives. Not the owners. The ushers, the ticket sellers, the custodians, the grounds crew. The people who show up at 6 a.m. and leave at midnight and never get thanked by anybody.

The Yankees' media relations director helped coordinate it, working with each team to pull together a group.

And Rivera did it at stop after stop, all season long, in his final year, at 43 years old, while still closing games.

Here's what he told about 20 Rangers employees in Arlington:

"We would never have a chance to see you guys, and that's why I wanted to do this. That was important to me, to make sure to thank those that work behind the scenes. No one sees them."

In Cleveland, he sat down with 25 staff members for half an hour before a game.

And partway through, he stopped and asked a question.

"Where's the drummer?"

For forty years, a man named John Adams had sat at the top of the bleachers in Cleveland with a bass drum, pounding out a beat to start rallies. Every home game. Four decades. He bought his own ticket for the seat next to him so the drum could sit there.

Adams raised a drumstick from the back of the room so Rivera could find him.

Rivera's response: "Hey, you the man. Being loyal, being there day in and day out. I really respect that."

At Fenway, he finally met a man named Baz who had been a fixture in that ballpark for decades. Baz afterward: "Pretty special. I've got tears in my eyes."

In Anaheim, where Rivera made his major league debut in 1995 and got his first career save in 1996, he sat with longtime Angels staffers and listened to their stories.

At every one of these, he took a photo with every single person and handed each of them a signed baseball.

His explanation of the whole thing:

"I want to be remembered as a player that gave for others. It's not that I'm better than anyone else; that's not true. I have been blessed and treat everybody the same because I wanted to be treated like that. With respect."

And this wasn't a farewell lap by a guy limping to the finish.

He saved 44 games that season with a 2.11 ERA at 43 years old. He pitched a scoreless inning at the All-Star Game, which kept his career All-Star ERA at 0.00 across thirteen appearances.

He finished with 652 saves, the most in the history of baseball, and a 0.70 postseason ERA that will probably never be approached.

In 2019 he became the first player ever elected to the Hall of Fame unanimously. Every single ballot.

Not Ruth. Not Mays. Not Aaron. Mariano Rivera.

The greatest closer who ever lived spent his last season making sure the people nobody notices got to be noticed once.

For more stories like this, follow us on any platform @thesportsontap

[Matt Van Swol @mattvanswol]

🚨#BREAKING: A police officer in Phoenix has rented out an ENTIRE 144-SEAT MOVIE THEATER for over 100 middle schoolers after their end-of-year field trip fell through, so they could see Toy Story 5.

When they got there, he realized many couldn't afford popcorn or drinks...

..so he bought EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM popcorn, candy, and a drink too.

His name is Sean Reavies,

For many kids, it was their first time ever inside of a movie theater in their lives.

When the kids asked how they could pay him back, he told them:

"As you get older in life, help other people. As a payback to me. Would you do that? That's all I ask of you."

MORE OF THIS!!!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[Marca PERÚ 🇵🇪 @marcaPERU]

¡El Cusco vuelve a brillar con la majestuosidad de nuestro legado! ☀️🏛️ Vivir el Inti Raymi es viajar en el tiempo, sentir la fuerza del Tahuantinsuyo en la piel y honrar las tradiciones vivas que nos hacen únicos ante el mundo. 👑🎭✨

¡De los Andes para el planeta entero, celebramos con orgullo nuestra identidad milenaria! ❤️🇵🇪🎉

#MarcaPerú #IntiRaymi

[꧁Bobbi꧂ @SaltyBitch_52]

This is the world we deserve. Not the one that the media and politicians use to divide us.

Maybe the most powerful thing about the World Cup isn’t who wins the trophy. It’s millions of people discovering that the stranger they were taught to fear turns out to be a friend they just hadn’t met yet. That’s the kind of thing that restores faith in humanity. ❤️🌎⚽

[NYC DOT @NYC_DOT]

best city in the world

[Suzie rizzio @Suzierizzo1]

This needs to go Viral! In Atlanta for the FIFA World Cup game between Spain & Cabo Verde a fan wearing a Spain jersey gestured to a Cabo Verde fan asking if he would like to swap jerseys & he said excitedly said Yes so they traded jerseys & hugged for what seemed like forever.

[justasistertryingtotweet @Igottafigh64510]

I’m crying real tears😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[ESPN New York @ESPNNewYork]

ICYMI: The New York Knicks are NBA Champions, as called by @LT__Murray and @McNuttMonica !

Thank you to all of the incredible fans for listening to @ESPNNewYork this season. Your home of the NBA Champions.

[MrBuckBuck @MrBuckBuckNBA]

The Knicks radio announcers reacting to the final moments of Game 5, as Dylan Harper misses both free throws, OG Anunoby splits the clutch free throws, and the New York Knicks win a championship for the first time in 53 years

[LQ @laughsquietly]

I am so happy for @nyknicks

Please fans don’t burn NYC down.

Love one another
Love this moment
#knicks
#nbachampions

[Archdiocese of New York @NY_Arch]

All set on this end.

#Knicks #NYC #GoKnicks #YesWeHaveFavorites

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Boston is slowly becoming Scotland West

[Mauro @muhfuknfunnyguy]

A pilot decided to say “Go Spurs Go!” to a flight controller over the radio and his response was perfect.

“You’re talking to the wrong controller. I’m a Knicks fan. A real American” 😭🤣 🇺🇸🟠🔵

WE EVERYWHERE 🧑‍✈️