I really cannot imagine the pain of having a baby by a man who begged me to have it, and then abandoning me / treating me like shit after itโs too late to get rid of it. I wouldnโt be able to mentally withstand that kind of pain, thatโs one of the biggest reasons Iโm childless.
Someone told me Iโve really been stepping into my feminine energy lately from dressing in pink to just embracing my soft, girly side lol. I love that for me. After losing my granny, I was in such a dark place, so it feels good to finally see the world looking bright again.
Unfortunately, yes i sure DO give up on people.. you can't continuously disappoint me, distract me, not pour into me & expect me to continue showing up for you. No can do.
My goal right now is to just HEAL. Heal my heart. Heal my mind. Heal my soul. Itโs time to fully get over the wrong that's been done to me, the pain I've endured, the trauma I've experienced, and anything that has happened to me that didn't sit right with me.
Itโs crazy how I can feel so alone even when Iโm surrounded by people. I truly believe God is putting me through a season of isolation right now, maybe to grow, heal, or prepare me for something I canโt see yet. ๐๐ฝโจ
When I say I CBFW, Iโm never speaking on materials or designers. Iโm speaking on my confidence, my aura, my integrity, my morals, my spirit, my mindset. itโs who I am as a person and what I stand on. Some people build entire lifestyles on labels and still have nothing inside. ๐