Laura Gordon

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

Me: why are you being so bad!?!
Student: I learned it from you.
Me: touché 😏

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

Summer Break Me: "didn't get my afternoon nap... just gonna lay down for a bit..."

[Wakes up 13 hours later on my couch]

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

#teacherjokes https://t.co/cQZisNXmQ5

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

#thingsmystudentssay @ W.T. White High School https://t.co/F8ox0JCfm3

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

Student 1: "what if Ms Gordon was in a coma and we are all just her servants"?
Student 2: "Shutup. It's too early for an existential crisis"

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

My phone is trolling me 😐 #foreveralone #singleawareness https://t.co/XqOYV5ZOh6

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

Senior 1: "Are you going to watch the new Power Rangers movie?"
Senior 2: "No. It's too progressive"

Me: 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

Going to the park with doxies is a great way to meet new people.
I've never had to apologize to so many men for my dogs trying to bite them.

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

Don't feed the animals https://t.co/TwYM5C7XmU

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

"She's the superhero Dallas needs, but doesn't deserve" #batdog… https://t.co/8bW6iEKtED

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

#shenanigans @ Greenville Ave St Patrick's Day Parade https://t.co/u3xT0qCaGW

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

Today's weather matches my mood #blah https://t.co/wNihPWWc3f

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

I have rightly earned this reputation at work #queenofhappyhour https://t.co/lhwzt69Wds

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

Econ lecture
Me: example, how do I incentivize you to answer questions?
Answer expected: extra credit
Answer received: the room smells good

[Justin Shanes @justinshanes]

Finding these Bowling Green Massacre jokes to be a little too soon. Out of respect, we should wait until it takes place.

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

so far I have dealt with crying, cleaning up puke, & picking up toys scattered everywhere.

Parenting dogs is real work, I tell ya.

[batkaren (a/k/a kt roth) @batkaren]

Is there a spa service where someone just plays with your hair for an hour?

[Chelsea Handler @chelseahandler]

Sean Spicer is telling about as much truth at these WH press briefings as I am when my doctor asks me how many drinks I have per week.

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

@coachmilesperry you have an inner fat kid

[Laura Gordon @lauragordon]

Student: are we beefing with North Korea?
Me: 👍
S: so are we also porking with them?
Me: 😳
S: what? What's porking?
Me: 😑