Laura K.

Actor. Singer. Cat Lover. Feminist.

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

@kelseyskennedy My ankles are bare today. It’s basically summer.

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

@kelseyskennedy Don’t forget the spinoff, Cop Hospital: The Anatomy of Justice

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Watching a psychosexual thriller from 2002 which I absolutely cannot take seriously because of the fashion. Girl this man is wearing baggy cargo pants yelling at you while you’re wearing a robin egg blue velour dress and matching eyeshadow grow up

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Sometimes I think about the fact that I used to think that like…hanging out with someone who constantly made me feel like shit and invalidated me nonstop and forbid me from following them on social media so they had a place to talk shit about me freely was friendship?! Girl LOL

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Sometimes all it takes to feel good is to make out with cute dork on an Astoria sidewalk, then go to lunch with your friend the next day and spend way too much money on skincare products

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Life is so funny I was supposed to be meeting my (ex) boyfriend’s parents tomorrow but instead he dumped me and I’m so sad I can barely eat

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

The guy I’ve been talking to called today to say he’s not in a place to date, but still wants to get to know me as a friend. And then when I got upset he told me I shouldn’t be upset, because it wasn’t that deep. And then he said I made HIM feel bad. Kill me.

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Tonight a guy I’ve been talking to was like “I’ll call you later” and when I tell you my anxiety was through the roof for two hours thinking the WORST then he just called as was like “so what night is better for you this week?” Apparently he just likes to call to make plans 😩

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Is there anything more humiliating than eating a flaky croissant in public?

[Agent 711 @kwp1039]

Not sure if anyone needed this but here’s Jason Alexander in an episode of Criminal Minds

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

The best way to end any bad day is to find a weird lil lump on a part of your body where weird lil lumps should not be and then spiral about your impending doom over what is certain to be the world’s most inconvenient pimple

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

@kadska @JoyceCarolOates Many people’s salaries on Broadway are contingent on the success of the show, not just the playwright. The existence of Unions isn’t the issue. Maybe this conversation is better left to those actively working in the industry, and not an author who is clearly clueless

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Being a woman is fun because sometimes you menstruate through your clothes and just have to be at work the whole day anyway

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Phrases I would like to retire from everyone’s vocabulary: adulting, I did a thing, two doe shay

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Every day I oscillate between wanting to be a squishy gorgeous woman in a Renaissance painting and an American Ninja Warrior

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Me, at lunch in Bryant Park with the v cute Italian guy I see every once in a while:

Me: “oh, look! A butterfly!”
Him, looking at it wistfully: “Yes…it is true.”

[Laura K. @laurakay12]

Me: watches one episode of Hoarders to have some background noise
Me, three seasons later: “oh thank god Corey and Dr. Zazio are working on this house”