Lauren Cook

This is LC and my favorite position is prone.

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Look at me, I disassociate everyday and love every fucking minute of it.

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

Local Trader Joe’s Checkout Girl Ups the Flirtiness by 400% While Staring Down the Barrel of Another Christmas Spent Single

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

@pumasoksarobot Came back to Twitter to like this

[takairopractor @takairopractor]

@SofteeNorCal Just thinking out loud but you guys should have a feature on your app where customers can send out pings or emojis or whatever so your drivers can see which area has a lot of pings and drive there next. I’ve got at least 3 pings for you in this park I’m sitting in.

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

“Everyday is just more dumb fodder (useless info) for the dumb cow (me)”

is a thought I had after skimming a veritable essay about a Harry Potter fanfic that started a cult and resulted in at least one death (I don’t want anymore info than this thank you 🙏🏼☺️)

[☆ ‧dreamboy··‧̩̥˟͙冬˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

WE MADE IT YALL!!

WELCOME TO
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[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

Happy New Year to all my hoes who regressed and my hoes who regressed ONLY. We gone DUMB to protect ourselves in this house.

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

He probably doesn’t remember me (you know, missed connections and all that) but there was definitely sexual tension between me and the guy who swiped the copy of the communist manifesto that I had been planning on buying at the library book sale in the summer of 2019. Where r u?

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

Second Christmas in a row of being the only single sister sucked again, I am now taking applications for an absolute unit of a significant other. Must be taller and stronger (physically) than me and make just enough $$ to afford exotic fruits.

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

@ima_airbendah If the big baddie ain’t a gigantic running pig from space then TAKE YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

Suffering from Diddy Kong Racing withdrawals who’s with me

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

Y’all ever cut your hair so bad that leaving it messy is a defense mechanism

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

Can we shift leap year so it stops falling in election year? the astrology people really got me convinced with this one

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

For personal reasons, I have decided to go dumb continuously for the foreseeable future. Please don’t engage with me on topics that require critical thinking, I WILL bite you. I’m in defense mode.

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

Right never mind, it’s schadenfreude

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

This is a very specific type of satisfaction but there has to be a German or French word for it

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

@pumasoksarobot A certified idiot, 7 days a widiot

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

Do you ever try on a blazer that fits SO WELL that you think “maybe I CAN be a young professional in an office setting with big money” and completely disregard your overall lack of basic skills because helloooooo

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

@pumasoksarobot But also jokes; my knowledge absorbency is basically that of silicone and water so oops. This fish can leave the water but it cannot and will not grow lungs. My big dumb brain is so smooth it’s basically a wet ass slip and slide.

[Lauren Cook @laurelicoo]

@pumasoksarobot I was going to respond with a joke but then I got emotional so thank you
😭🙏🏼❤️