lorél

still doing it for the children

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Taking off all my clothes because the fabric is touching my skin in a weird way

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

So high I thought I could read minds because I could predict everything a boy was saying to me
Until I realized I was only talking to him in my head

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Every morning I fight the urge to be in a k-hole at the office

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Your hairline is receding faster than inflation
Is inflation receding?
What does this mean

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Chiddy chiddy bang bang my head against the wall

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Sorry for not maintaining my lane officer. I was trying to rip a skin tag off my arm

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Rotisserie chicken for $3.60

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Learning to master the fifth avatar element, the blood of my enemies

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Ickity splickity spoink, I curse thee with a small doink

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

In 2026 I will be continuing my bad habits but with tenacity and flare

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Abortion, or as I like to call it, lego my prego

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

I don’t wanna see stars I wanna hear gunshots

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you mutated it so when I turn 69 I have a heart attack and die

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

I let BuzzFeed quizzes tell me who I am

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Splooge on Scrooge

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Does anyone want to come over and play crash out with me

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

It’s my god given right to eat roller food

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Eventually the turkeys will take a stand against Thanksgiving

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

My brother in law asked if I’m transitioning. This is the kind of confusion I like to bring to family gatherings

[lorél @laurelsumnerr]

Any confidence I have can be attributed to my local crackheads