Lauren

rock paper scissor enthusiast with a potty mouth, strong liver, and a heart of gold.

[Lauren @laurencdub]

Found a random thought on paper in an old purse: "God's specialty is to make something wonderful from ruins". Glad I wrote that down...

[Lauren @laurencdub]

@ThiagoEstevesMa @ilovecwupcwakes @GoldBellClips What you've said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I’ve ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you close to a rational thought. Everyone is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points & may God have mercy on your soul.

[Lauren @laurencdub]

@thelillygaddis It is always some ugly blonde with bad hair doing this shit.

[Lauren @laurencdub]

@jbf1755 Literally heard it two days ago. By a coworker…who I also dated. He acted surprised when I told him how offensive it is to Jewish people. How is this new to people?!

[Lauren @laurencdub]

This is the first time the internet rabbit hole ended with a #unicorn tale butt plug 😳 #containerstore to #sex 😂

[Lauren @laurencdub]

Just saw a guy bring his groceries into the @WholeFoods bathroom - I feel like that is just poor planning.

[Lauren @laurencdub]

Goonies on a Friday night. Doesn't get much better than this right here. #babyruth #slothloveschunk

[Lauren @laurencdub]

Ice cream truck rolling through my hood at 9:30pm. There is a high probability they aren't selling ice cream. #eastnasty #EastNashville

[Lauren @laurencdub]

I just want to meet a guy who can get me @ChickfilA on a Sunday.

[Lauren @laurencdub]

A guy just asked if I had any gang affiliations. This is one of those times I have to remind my face to not express what I am thinking.

[Lauren @laurencdub]

Being single and living alone is pretty great for those times you want to demolish a rotisserie chicken without anyone passing judgement.

[Lauren @laurencdub]

Nothing beats making flirtatious eye contact with a hot guy at the grocery store....then making eye contact with his baby

[Lauren @laurencdub]

After all these years, I still have no clue what the hell it means when someone pokes me on @facebook.... #idonotworkforphilsbury

[Lauren @laurencdub]

Just witnessed a Belle Meade po po dumpster diving....and he was all up in it...without gloves 😳 #noshame #lookingfordonuts

[Lauren @laurencdub]

The young ones always get to "Stage 5" quicker than the rest... #mybad #sorrynotsorry https://t.co/g2kb7rnD0X

[Lauren @laurencdub]

get things straight. #realtalk https://t.co/v9zjmWvZ0r

[Lauren @laurencdub]

Left Swipes of the Day (Clockwise from Top Left): lots of irony with the whole "hang ten"...with a… https://t.co/Gd8yLYn3sP

[Lauren @laurencdub]

This guy blew me away with his big heart. #leftswipe https://t.co/BynJN671oM

[Lauren @laurencdub]

I need either a person or a mechanism to flip my record over to side B. #comfortablepersonproblem #mychairiswaytoocomfortable

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

The #BoycottDolceGabbana movement is both smaller and less established than the #CantAffordDolceGabbana movement.

[Lauren @laurencdub]

Apocalypse L.A. It isn't House of Cards, but it might just be the next Sharknado.