Lauren Michael

mumbles to herself a lot

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

Recipe: melt the chocolate in a double boiler
Me: do I look like Julia fucking Child

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

@smartdumbleo No shit, at my first reconciliation (age 7) I just…made something up. I couldn’t think of anything I had done wrong recently so I lied and said I’d hit my brother.

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

@oliviamdh Yep- not Jewish and neither were 99% of the student body, and my high school did it as the spring musical one year. It definitely works well for a high school production since it can have a large ensemble and there’s a good balance of male to female roles

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

I….I need this

[birdsrightsactivist @ProBirdRights]

just keep these in mind,, humanes. just keep in mind. ,':}

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

The CDC says your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and your father will never see you again if you do.

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

I poached an egg for the first time today and it turned out perfect. I am a god

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

@rajahsound I love your glow-up (that’s what the cool kids call it I hear)

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

@LyndiMacke WHAT

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

Thinking of trying one of those sensory deprivation rooms so I can finally have some goddamn peace and quiet

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

Dude that’s awesome. Good for you ❤️

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

@MeganBitchell The choir at my junior high choir sang it at an assembly

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

If Gen Z were really committed to the part they’d start saying “zut” and “où est mon Walkman”

[The Mountain Goats @mountain_goats]

my heart

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

Thats it this is the best one

[The Ripped Bodice @TheRippedBodice]

I apologize for nothing

[ruby 🐊 @roobeekeane]

me going on a stupid little daily walk just to feel something

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

@BeccaTheJenks Is that the one where a goddess gives her a birth control necklace

[Lauren Michael @laurencmichael]

@rajahsound I have a fantastic brownie recipe if you need one