Lauren Kessler

constantly in search of the next mozzarella stick

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

today someone asked me what my favorite childhood memory was and I couldn’t choose between self-esteem and gushers

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

@karagarland16 SO PROUD OF YOU❤️❤️❤️

[trish @ultragloss]

no one understands a woman in her 20s the way billy joel did in 1977 when he wrote vienna

[ava 🇵🇸 @wownicebuttdude]

i rarely shop for clothing in-person because all fitting room lighting is designed to spiritually harm me. just tried on a plain black dress at uniqlo and experienced the kind of profound psychological agony that would drive a 1950s housewife to lobotomization

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

Stumbled upon a MAGA Republican’s manifestation journal

[zae @itszaeok]

how much are tickets to the rihanna football concert? cuz imma have to go

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

I experimented with my curly hair routine this morning and somehow ended up with the top layer successfully curly and the bottom layer totally straight. Tell me why I walked around like this all day

[Scott Edelman @scottedelman]

The Onion isn't taking any prisoners today.

[mayday.health @HealthMayday]

🚨PLEASE SHARE🚨

Do you live in a state that bans abortions? With the help of mail-forwarding, you can still get safe, effective abortion pills from a doctor in days.

RT this thread to spread the word—so the people who need help learn how they can get it:

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

My ambitions include being a skincare influencer and finding an SSRI that will give me an ass

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

@allencommaemily I love seeing my body type represented

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

@zemolafilms You are beautiful and wonderful and awesome and anyone who says otherwise can kindly go choke

[Zak Toscani @zak_toscani]

CDC recommends splitting up your quarantine over your two 15min breaks

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

@andsimacy curl tutorial PLEASE

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

Mother Nature is an atheist apparently

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

The feminine urge to run over the neighbor’s nativity jesus lying sideways in the street after a windy night

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

Another day, another heartbreak (over-seasoning my lunch)

[Sahana Srinivasan @sahana_srini]

My room looks like a landfill, I cook and eat the worst meals you have ever seen, and I’m 30 min late to work everyday, but I’m still like, today’s big goal: get hotter

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

I want so badly to be an effortlessly mysterious airport girl but instead I am just Sweaty in Hudson News

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

How cute/quirky/relatable of me would it be to absolutely Lose My Goddamn Mind at 6pm on a Monday? Go ahead, dare me. Haha jk I won’t do it. Unless.

[Lauren Kessler @laurenk181]

Every time I see that video of Kyle Shittenhouse blubbering like an ugly, murderous little white supremacist baby on my tl I want to projectile vomit. Furious doesn’t even begin to describe it