laur

[tasman @lildorothy_]

just checked the forecast and there's a 90% chance of yay #yay

[Beau @thecharmingbeau]

Everything is a game of chess. Except chess. Chess is about sex

[sarah @tradepartty]

My bf will be like let me put something on tv and it’s a YouTube video of a guy deep frying action figures and then he’ll start touching my boobs

[Skyler Higley @skyler_higley]

white people be like I’m genuinely affected emotionally by the things john mulaney says or does

[mewli @hatsumeli]

i think its beautiful when a man is able to look past my mental disorder and love me for my boobs

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

so sick showing ur passport to get into a bar. hello guard. i am a diplomat from very far away. please beer please please please please beer

[ella @H8BEAM]

if i had a boyfriend i'd feed him apples and stroke the back of his head like a well-kept horse. but i'd be cruel to him also

[laur @laurenlt00]

and suddenly he’s not yo cuo no mo

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Oh you want to sleepover? Okay. Hope you like YouTube videos ranking various brands of peanut butter, strict 9:30PM lights out, the sound of sleep-crying, & waking up at 4:45AM to me swearing at the makers of Wordle

[temple runner @misscalcula]

JD Vance do you want to meet my best friend’s boyfriend

[eggily @SeggsyEggy]

getting my boyfriend and his friends drunk and daring them kiss each other

[clay ⛷️ @hanfjob]

can someone get me a job? my qualifications are swag and i have a lot of great ideas and know how to hang out for 8 hours

[cyndi ស៊ីនឌី @__cyndaquillll]

I have to go on a walk everyday for an hour or else I start biting peoples ankles

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

if you don’t like being kissed on the lips don’t be such a great friend

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

im a normal girl with a normal relationship to food & also to sex. PLEASE no follow up questions

[Shafeeq @Y2SHAF]

this cannot be the same brain that earned a bachelor’s degree