William Willis

Laurion the praetorian thinks death or serious injury may occur

[William Willis @lauriondl]

In a stunning political gaffe President Joe Biden ordered a drone strike on his political rival former President Donald Duck.

[William Willis @lauriondl]

@keepersecurity And you believe a good business plan involves extorting your customers? Forcing existing customers to pay money to keep that which they already had...

[William Willis @lauriondl]

@keepersecurity, I have been using this account since you started. To try and make me upgrade in order to keep functions I already had is simply bait and switch. Restore my account please.

[William Willis @lauriondl]

Moreover, when I sent a message to your company using the proper channels regarding this, I got a reply saying since I was using a free account, I wasn't entitled to support! You can't be serious. Bad business, bad form...

[William Willis @lauriondl]

@BadAstronomer @neiltyson

[William Willis @lauriondl]

Okay, is it too much to ask for some other billionaire buy Twitter again?

[William Willis @lauriondl]

@LeeRberger the question is always posited, “If we evolved from apes, where is the missing link?” Rather, my question has always been, aren’t all subhuman genus homo species “missing links?”

[William Willis @lauriondl]

2 months max before People of Buc-ee’s replaces People of Walmart.

[William Willis @lauriondl]

Rihanna came out looking like a babybel and lip synched the whole show. #babybel #rihanna #SuperBowl

[William Willis @lauriondl]

Telling him off is one thing, publicly assaulting him is another. #SmithLeftFreshPrints 👊

[William Willis @lauriondl]

@BadAstronomer @neiltyson Hey @BadAstronomer, you may remember my previous thought experiment a few years ago, thanks so much for your reply. Here’s a new question this memory got me thinking about… Source: https://t.co/3Lzc3lsWjC

[William Willis @lauriondl]

Hey @BadAstronomer and @neiltyson what do you think of this thought experiment which my family and I were discussing over dinner. #VisualizedLightSpeed #ShowerThoughts

[William Willis @lauriondl]

@DadandBuried Tell me you became an old man without telling me you became an old man. Other Dad and Buried tweets: “GetOffMyGrass” “This ain’t music” “Young people are lazy”

[William Willis @lauriondl]

@elonmusk, yeah rockets and electric cars in real life are cool, HMU when you get them added into @Fortnite. #EpicGames #EpicMarketing

[William Willis @lauriondl]

@kyler_wurzer @TheWeirdWorld It's called Shower Thoughts, they're not quoting science, they're posting the type of thoughts people have in the shower.

[William Willis @lauriondl]

Hell hath no fury like *the women in my family* "scorned."

[William Willis @lauriondl]

@twatterbaas Who is that with him though...? Donald Trump?

[William Willis @lauriondl]

Todays epiphany:
[as fate saved the tastiest bite of my sandwich]

I used to have washboard abs. When I dropped food, it would just fall straight to the floor. Now that I’m a dad, it bounces off my belly and lands safely on the counter in front of me. Who’s the loser now?!

[William Willis @lauriondl]

America, the best at everything. Including contracting Covid-19. 🇺🇸🦅

[William Willis @lauriondl]

Knock it off Apple, you're big, but not that big. #freefortnite