*paws at you* do u fw me?
*paws at you* do u fw me?
*paws at you* do u fw me?
*paws at you* do u fw me?
*paws at you* do u fw me?
*paws at you* do u fw me?
*paws at you* do u fw me?
*paws at you* do u fw me?
*paws at you* do u fw me?
*paws at you* do u fw me?
i hated my father—- i hate him even now, but i still want him to be proud of me even from beneath the earth and all the worms crawling on his bones. i still want his pride and approval, a yearning for a badge of honour.
"i've never been loved. i don't know how to be loved."
he'd it confessed so quietly, like a secret.
it's the most natural thing in the world; reverence in his touch when he reaches out, takes both hands in his.
"can i teach you?"
i lay with you, watching your chest rise and fall, in the summer heat. i twist the locks away from your eyes, tuck them back to your ear, and think to myself: let june never end. let summer's love always be warm and full of life.
what is love if not the endurance of laceration after laceration? what is love if not to willingly sacrifice? what is love if not to wish you a good, honest life with a rope around my neck?
ㅤAmity’s lips were pressed into a thin line as purr studied paw mentor’s expression.
ㅤIs this a test of some kind? Would her response be reported back to her mother?
ㅤ
ㅤhe was taken back by the response but all at the same time , it was expected from a child who pushed purrself so far , even to neglect her own self and feelings.
ㅤit made her feel weary for the kid.
ㅤ
ㅤA phantom ache in purr’s hands reminded paw of the last time paw’s mother caught wind of Amity complaining about school.
ㅤ “Like I said, it’s nothing. I’ll be fine,” she sat behind purr mentor on his staff, idly massaging purr hands.
ㅤ“-but thank you for the offer.”
i want to talk about what happened without mentioning how much it hurt. there has to be a way. to care for the wounds without reopening them. to name the pain without inviting it back to me.