ubong esop akpan

nutty about me wife and kids, law, tenniss, golf, swimming, badminton, table tennis, mercedes benz cars

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

HABA @icpcnigeria WHY MISREPRESENT A SIMPLE THING LIKE WHAT HAPPENED IN COURT? The Federal High Court 1 Kaduna Division adjourned the El Rufai case to 31st March 2026, NOT for hearing BUT for the pending application for bail.

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

THE EL RUFAI SO-CALLED SEARCH WARRANT:
ICPC’s Masterpiece of Legal Fiction.
1. Oh, bravo, ICPC! In a stroke of unparalleled genius, you’ve not only mangled the basics of warrant issuance but have conjured a juridical chimera straight from the annals of fantasy law.
2. ⁠Behold the “search warrant” – that tattered relic of procedural ineptitude, Criminal Form D (CPOROAS.36), ostensibly birthed from the Magistrate’s Court of the Federal Capital Territory.
3. ⁠But wait, what’s this? A stamp in the lower right corner, proudly proclaiming the authorship of one Mr. Okechukwu Akweke, “Magistrate of the High Court of the FCT”?
4. ⁠Magnificent! You’ve rewritten the Nigerian Constitution overnight, merging the humble Magistrate’s Court with the exalted High Court, and elevated a mere magistrate to sit in a forum reserved for judges. What a promotion! Perhaps next, you’ll appoint a traffic warden to the Supreme Court bench.
5. ⁠This “unicorn of the law,” as aptly dubbed, isn’t just a clerical slip – it’s a grotesque illegality, a blatant jurisdictional farce that screams forgery or, at best, the kind of bureaucratic buffoonery that would make even the most jaded legal scholar weep with laughter.
6. ⁠Let’s dissect this abomination with the precision it so richly deserves – or rather, lacks entirely.
7. ⁠First, the foundational fraud: Under Section 144 of the Administration of Criminal Justice Act, 2015 (ACJA), a search warrant must emanate from a competent judicial officer, such as a magistrate in their proper court.
8. ⁠But here, our illustrious Mr. Akweke purports to wield authority from the “High Court of the FCT,” a tribunal where magistrates do not preside – that’s the domain of High Court Judges, as per Section 270 of the Constitution.
9. ⁠Congratulations, ICPC; you’ve invented a hybrid court that exists nowhere in Nigerian jurisprudence. This isn’t mere oversight; it’s a constitutional rearrangement, a bold defiance of the separation of powers that would have the framers of the 1999 Constitution (as amended) rolling in their graves.
10. ⁠If this stamp isn’t a forgery under Section 465 of the Criminal Code Act – and oh, how it reeks of one – then it’s evidence of such profound incompetence that it voids the warrant ab initio.
11. ⁠After all, a document signed by a phantom magistrate in a nonexistent court is about as legally binding as a child’s crayon drawing.
12. ⁠Then there’s the substance – or the hilarious absence thereof. The warrant drones on about “the thing aforesaid” without ever specifying what that “thing” is, breaching Section 144 of the ACJA’s insistence on particularity to prevent fishing expeditions.
13. ⁠It’s a blank check for intrusion, a general warrant outlawed since colonial times, mocking Section 37 of the Constitution’s protection against unreasonable searches.
14. ⁠The execution parameters? A contradictory gem: limited to 5 a.m. to 8 p.m., yet magically extendable to “any hour during day or night.” Under Section 148 of the ACJA, warrants must be clear, not schizophrenic. And directing it to “ALL ICPC officeRsToALL And PLice OfFicERS”?
15. ⁠Overbroad doesn’t begin to cover it – Section 147 demands specificity, not a nationwide free-for-all that invites abuse.
16. ⁠As for probable cause? The warrant references “information upon oath” but provides none – no details, no offense, just a truncated clause that evaporates mid-sentence, flouting Section 143 of the ACJA. This isn’t law enforcement; it’s legal theater, a poorly scripted farce where the ICPC plays the bumbling villain, trampling rights with gleeful abandon.
17. ⁠In sum, this warrant isn’t just defective; it’s a monument to institutional hubris, a “grotesque illegality” that exposes the ICPC to ridicule, quashing, and damages.
18. ⁠Mr. Akweke, that mythical “magistrate of the High Court,” will indeed answer soon – perhaps in a real court, facing scrutiny for this unicornian blunder.
UBONG ESOP AKPAN

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

@Rudatwits You are a foolish monkey. As a guy, dem remove your top. Top? Na transgender you be?
Because dem no dey remove man top na.
Then you woke up on another man’s bed, after wine.

Wisdom and common sense are both pursuing you, but you are much faster than them both. Yeye dey smell!

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

@realFemiOtedola Absolutely. We must all acknowledge that the failure of this Dangote Refinery would create seriously adverse conditions for our energy supply and our economy. Taking the problems we are already saddled with, as a nation, is this an intelligent idea, in our nation’s interest.

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

RYDER CUP: American conduct unsporting. Booing excellent golf shots? Bottom feeders. Please go watch football (or soccer) and not golf.

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

commented: lucky kid. if i dared to act disruptive my little black hide was severely tanned. when he becomes a ... http://t.co/QPnyaW3U

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

satisfaction. applied to set aside a decision of the court of appeal ibadan. dodgy decisions continue to blight justice. expect to win.

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

golf. golf. how do i create the time for thee?

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

supposed to be on holiday; am up reading. past midnight. then some buggers think i owe them a living.

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

incompetence everywhere! why does a fellow ask to be rewarded with money for what he cannot do well?

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

last minute letters, etc before leaving for Lagos for Ibadan. in court tomorrow. dedicating my daughter Paige in Lagos 2nd august 2009.

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

up and about.

[ubong esop akpan @lawbird]

been up since 3am drafting brief for murder trial. pete, me little dumpling, who does tax returns in naija, i ask thee?