Lisa Cooke

Historical Romance Writer, having a blast in the past. Author of TEXAS HOLD HIM and A MIDWIFE CRISIS

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

Day 35: From now on, I think I shall refer to the days of the week as: today, yesterday, this day, that day, someday, other day, and who day. #whatdayisit?

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

Some days my brain is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in and then it's never seen again. #wereyoutalkingtome

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

I hope that when I die it's in the middle of the night so I don't get up that day for no reason. #knowwhatimean

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

Drat. My fake plants died because I didn't pretend to water them. #vowingtodobetter

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

Why do scuba divers always fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat. 🤦‍♀️#duh

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

The active ingredients of tai chi - Harvard Health https://t.co/hSG1EMjaDe

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester. #letsallgetintothecar

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

So I'm babysitting my 6 year-old granddaughter while her parents are in Vegas. This morning, I told her what we were having for dinner...
Me: We're having chicken tonight.
Brooke: I don't eat chicken.
Me: Why?... https://t.co/4IWdE76wRA

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

I have a bag of clothes to donate to charity, but first I'm going to drive around with them in my car for 4 months. #doesnteveryone

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

So apparently it's fine to eat a "test" grape in the produce section, but take one bite out of a rotisserie chicken and it's, "Ma'am, you need to leave." #justaintright

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

My goal is to have my house just clean enough that if someone drops in, it doesn't look like I'm in day six of a poltergeist situation. #isthattoomuchtoask

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

Not a single person asked me today if I cold run fast in my new shoes. Being an adult is stupid. #theyhavelightsandeverything

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

Remember when we used to have to smack the TV when the signal wasn't coming through clearly? I wonder if we could do that to people...#mightwork

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

The three hardest things to say:
1. I'm sorry
2. I need help
3. Worcestershire sauce.
#truth

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

Why is decorating for Christmas infinitely more fun than un- decorating? #toomuchglitter

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

I'm not one for setting resolutions, but I do like to identify some goals I hope to accomplish each year. My goals for this year include continuing a healthy lifestyle (tweaking needed) and enjoying every moment... https://t.co/pQBLQeReAb

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

It's Christmas Eve and I'm excited and full of Christmas cheer (and a little chocolate...okay, maybe more than a little) What are your plans for Christmas Eve? Family? Friends? Movies and hot chocolate? Whatever they are, I hope you're blessed! Merry Christmas, everyone!

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

Eyelashes are supposed to keep things from getting into your eye, but every time I have something in my eye, it's an eyelash. #itseyeronic

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

UPS: "Your package is in city X, in a truck driven by Bob and will be delivered by 2 pm on Thursday.
FEDEX: "Your package is somewhere and you'll get it when we give it to you."
USPS: "What package?"
AMAZON:" We're in your kitchen."

[Lisa Cooke @lcooke]

If the ceiling fan could hold my weight, I'd never be bored again. #fanfunforeveryone