Last Chance with Derek Chance

The Mayor gave all of Frankendale one Twitter account to share. We think it’s working out.

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

#GetOutTheVote

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

I don’t know why people keep calling the police, my darling son makes the most wonderful videos!
- Bernice

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

Billy is back with episode 2! I don’t know why Derek insists we bring him to a therapist. Billy is making art!
- Bernice

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

Have you missed Billy? Then check out my darling son on the YouTubes! New episodes every other week send tweet
- Bernice

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

@Wendys is roasting people today, but come down to the Frankendale Diner to get roast people all year round.
- Frankendale Diner

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

On this Solstice, remember who keeps the malevolent spirits from ruining your celebrations; Mayor Davis.
- The Office of the Mayor

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

🕷🚨Halloween Alert🚨🕷: The zombies have escaped.
- Frankendale Police Department

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

Zombies will not be included in today’s festivities, due to last year’s “incident”. Instead, they are being kept in a poorly guarded facility with wooden doors.
- The Office of the Mayor

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

🕷🚨Halloween Alert🚨🕷 : Alice down by the docks is reportedly giving out apples stuffed with razor blades. Be sure to get there early, or risk being unarmed when night falls.
- Frankendale Police Department

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

On Columbopolous Day, we remember the founding of Christopher Columbopolous's private dicking agency. If you need a private dick, Columbopolous can satisfy you.
- Columbopolous and Son, Private Dicks

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

With the middle schoolers safely contained at "school", it's time to focus on what really matters; promoting local businesses on twitter.
-Sal's Pizza

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

Surprising new evidence finds that the voices coming from your closet are real, and yes, you should be concerned.
- Frankendale News

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

Look out @DJPaulyD I’m single and ready to tingle.
- Aunt Bernice

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

If anyone has any information regarding the last five days, please report it directly to the Mayor. We’re still working to find out the cause of the blackout, both electrical and mental, that affected the whole town.
- The Office of the Mayor

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

That skeleton in your attic isn’t going to clean itself. Bring it down, give it a shower, and let it return to its haunting refreshed.
- Frankendale Orthopedic Surgeons

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

The basilisk has returned to its nest! Its only condition was that we not lock it in anymore, and understand that it is now the unofficial ruler of Frankendale. All Hail Basilisk!
- The Office of the Mayor

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

@Ned2point0 @TheCoffeeBean @SecondCityLA We can get you the tickets to Last Chance at @SecondCityLA. The hug will be a one arm side hug, and the best we can do is a free muffin from @TheCoffeeBean. Please put this madness to an end.
- The Office of the Mayor

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

Has anyone seen the key to the city? It’s purely decorative and definitely doesn’t open the basilisk chamber deep below the city, but we’d still like it back.
- The Office of the Mayor

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

@Ned2point0 We don’t negotiate with terrorists. But if we did, what are your demands?
- The Office of the Mayor

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

We’ve received several calls regarding a basilisk roaming through town. We understand it’s technically our job to handle this, but you can stop calling. We’re not fucking with a basilisk.
- Frankendale Animal Control

[Last Chance with Derek Chance @lcwdc]

If you had any money deposited at First Frankendale Bank, we would like to issue our sincere apologies. We really thought we could double your investments. Roulette just isn’t the moneymaker it used to be.
- First Frankendale Bank