Lea Neufeld

[NICK SOGARD FACTS AND UPDATES @TheNotoriousHRT]

if Amtrak had balls there'd be a Montréal to NOLA train called the French connection

[Cuck Liddell @c0ck_l3snar]

Trivia is so awesome. I love answering questions with my friends.

[Dubzy @DubzyOnceAgain]

Didn’t get a chance to see my wife’s boobs before I left for work. Day ruined. Fuck everything.

[Skate Coach 𓅄 @Sk8Couch]

People on here will ask “Is it too late to start over at 28?” and everyone will reply “Yikes. Hate to break it to you gramps but it was over for you 10 years ago.” Meanwhile my 63 year old neighbor is taking the bar exam because he has a list of pharma companies he plans to sue

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

me and my lemur wife if we were just enjoying each other’s company in a serene field

[K @MyNameIsK117]

Got so high that I remembered James Spader out of nowhere

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

“Listen to your body.”

My body: Delete Microsoft Teams. Delete Outlook. Lie down for 8–10 hours. Touch grass. Roll around in the grass. Eat some grass. You’re a cow now

[jessie ☁️♥️🚀🦖🍕 @jess_felts]

This performance blows me away every time. Her incredible breath control and vocals after performing for a couple hours at this point. The little nose crinkle and smile when she sings about friendship bracelets, knowing she was talking to Travis.

[JT Power @JTPower]

You think you can sneak up behind Jimothy? Think again!

[Today Years Old @todayyearsold]

This might be the craziest animal fact i’ve ever learned

[Nuella 💕🎀🌸 @dfw_ella_]

Odysseus when he saw his men around that BBQ

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

I really do respect my cats boundaries but sometimes I HAVE to pick them up and squeeze them and squish them and kiss them and rub my face in their belly and sniff their paws and

[isa (ee-suh) 🍰 @1OfreakygirIs]

When the plane lands and the pilot says “…..and if this is home, welcome home”

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when your bf isn’t a fkn loser

[Adam Karpiak @Adam_Karpiak]

when you upload your resume and still have to retype your entire work history

[Goblin Moder @mischiefanimals]

he moves with a sort of otherworldlyness, an ethereal aura

[Eren 💋 @erenfromtargets]

when the last step of a recipe is “Enjoy”

[Errai @errai]

Oh man I (washes hands) love cooking so much (washes hands) and it’s so easy to (washes hands) make anything you want