I‘m afraid I’ll never truly recover because I genuinely don’t want to. quasi recovery felt fine until I gained too much weight and decided to diet. I’ve lost my summer weight and I’m once again at my quasi recovery weight but I want to lose more.
my coping mechanism is controlling my eating and I’m scared I’ll spiral right before prom and my exams. is it a bad idea? absolutely. I love making those. so hi once again edtwt, I’ve missed you
I feel like if I officially decide to relapse I’ll be able to do it. but life is so different from when I was bmi 14, I have a boyfriend, I’m preparing for med school exams, I want to start work and to travel. I’m 18 now and life is just around the corner
life update! so I wouldn't call myself recovered, but I don't restrict anymore. I'm sometimes hungry, sometimes full but I don't binge or purge anymore. I eat freely and guesstimate cals (around 1800 a day) and I'm maintaining between 40 and 41 kgs. but I have a consistent period
and I don't stress around food all that much. I'm pretty fcoused on studying and my relationships and honestly I'm so goddamn happy. I'm dating the best boy in the world and I'm laughing and smiling all the damn time. life gets better, doesn't it?