butreallyjustclaire

never fear the weird.

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

I’m high and I’m eating celery and it’s still so bad

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

Also I think I’m officially at that age where my friends can set me up with their single friends for no reason other than we’re in our 30s and alone so bring it on

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

Please follow me for more reasons why I will never be allowed on the bachelor

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

Not to say that anyone here does care but at least I won’t lose any followers because I don’t really have any

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

I have come here on the eve of my 30th birthday as I drink this margarita alone and realize that no one on Instagram cares what I’m thinking every 3 seconds

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

Why do we give engagement gifts and not breakup gifts like excuse me I’m sad and they already have a fiancé

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

Why do we need to have new and full moons all the time, can’t the moon just fucking chill for a bit?

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

“I hate you but I still think of you when I masturbate,” a memoir

[The Last Blockbuster @loneblockbuster]

We are officially terminating Donald J. Trump's Blockbuster account and will seek litigation to collect his $35,670.42 in late fees.

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

If the hills have eyes do vegans not eat them?

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

All of my dreams are coming true IN ONE MOVIE

[Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds]

I think we all knew I'd wind up as a miniature detective repeatedly saying the same two words. Just didn't think it'd be this soon. #PikaPika #DetectivePikachu

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

You know what feels even better than voting? Knowing what you’re voting for

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Look what happened the last time you didn’t vote.

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

When is the internet going to stop thinking I’m still in college

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

My lectures today have been so boring that I’m in my third class now and I’m literally sick of the internet

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

Why do old people ALWAYS have their ringers on loud

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

Why is it that the one night in 2018 I’ve actually wanted to go out that no one else does anymore

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

I like parties. I like fun. I want to live in a hamburger bun.

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

(Here she comes)

[butreallyjustclaire @lebrothel]

@2ylangz can you bring my sunglasses out?