i don’t think i’m the best person to give dating advice because my experience with dating was really different than how most ppl seem to experience it. i am super extroverted and loved going on dates and found even mediocre dates fun bc i love talking to new ppl. i would happily go on half a dozen dates a week, was excited by doing things like spending a week with someone as a second or third date.
i do think most ppl i know can do two things better though:
1) ask more ppl out. i initiated things with all four of the guys i was most interested in during the period leading up to my current relationship. women in particular are underutilizing this. getting rejected a few times is less bad than remaining single for the next year.
2) be more strategic about dating. if you were looking for a job as a fisherman, you wouldn’t move to kansas. looking for a spouse should entail every bit as much strategy as your career.
i moved back to the US six months before i met my husband explicitly so i could find a spouse. i looked up the places with the highest ratio of men to women and then picked one that seemed like a cultural match for me. i switched my hinge profile to a bunch of different cities to get a read on the guys. i joined a rock climbing gym my 2nd day in town bc its a male-dominated hobby. i offered a 10k bounty to anyone who introduced me to my future husband, and *three* people suggested the man i eventually married that same evening.
swiping on hinge religiously each night is not a strategy. would you pay 10k to magically have your soulmate appear on your doorstep? okay how can you actually use 10k to that end? would you move cities if your future spouse needed you to? okay maybe you should move cities if geography is currently working against you.
@softboywin Yes and you sometimes had to ask people for directions. Now most people under a certain age don't know how to 1. read a map or 2. talk to other people
I touch most people on the back of the arm. Breaking the physical barrier is helpful for connecting and the goal of connecting isn't always sex (or being desired). But ppl who are touch-starved or bad at connecting view it with skepticism bc to them it must be a means to an end