Colleenie

You can't just use an ampersand whenever you fucking feel like it.

[Colleenie @leenie11]

I'm tired the way old people are tired at the end of their lives.

[Colleenie @leenie11]

Why does Oreo make their package opening virtually invisible is it because they like to watch my claw at it like a feral beast

[Colleenie @leenie11]

“KISS!!!!!” - me watching Gladiator 2

[Colleenie @leenie11]

any other women out there about 12 hours away from giving themselves the most insane anxiety haircut

[Colleenie @leenie11]

when this is the only bread left and you’re about to get your ass handed to you by a four year old

[Colleenie @leenie11]

@areyoubadenough you’re a dear friend, but i would die before i’d drink your coffee hot tub water ❤️

[Colleenie @leenie11]

can you imagine if you found this in your coffee though

[Colleenie @leenie11]

UPDATE: this didn’t happen but i could tell they were thinking it.

[Colleenie @leenie11]

all i want is *simply* for the jonas brothers to point to me in the crowd of fans tonight and say “you. you’re the best one.”

[Colleenie @leenie11]

@DanRyckert i find this weirdly beautiful like a fox and the hound friendship, but for your dad’s stubbornness.

[Colleenie @leenie11]

@areyoubadenough i’ve given them the best years of my life and 70% of my money!

[Colleenie @leenie11]

all i want is *simply* for the jonas brothers to point to me in the crowd of fans tonight and say “you. you’re the best one.”

[Colleenie @leenie11]

me, with crippling anxiety, postpartum depression, recurring nightmares about plane crashes, and a freeze reflex every time my to do list is over 3 items long:

“I think i need a new pillow.”

[Colleenie @leenie11]

therapist: Do you ever cry?

me: *cries*

[Colleenie @leenie11]

@abanyazz open you m o u t h a n d d r i n k w h i l e y o u r ‘ e i n
t h e r e

[Colleenie @leenie11]

since the @jonasbrothers are touring again, my review of their last concert is getting reads again. it’s about being old at a jobro show. who feels me?

What Being a Jonas Brothers Fan for 15 Years Will Do To You: A Review of the Remember This Tour https://t.co/TJIyhj1QyZ

[Colleenie @leenie11]

i love this but why is it filmed like i’m watching it through a mail slot i’m so old guys please

[Jonas Brothers @jonasbrothers]

🕺🏻 https://t.co/h3hrD2ym1k

[Colleenie @leenie11]

@Jakeyin612 I had this union bay shirt when I was 11

[Colleenie @leenie11]

“A thousand wild horses. Sex like summer in the hamptons.” …@Bryan_Vore and I are convinced this latest jonas brothers album was written by AI 👀 😂 #JonasBrothers #THEALBUM

[Colleenie @leenie11]

@mary_norkol I was awake feeding a baby. A pro to having writer friends with 5 month old babies.

[Colleenie @leenie11]

Having writer friends is 💯because you can be like “I need vibes also what is the word for ‘walking into,’ but like metaphorically” cc @mary_norkol