Timothy Torkildson

Almost the Poet Laureate of the New York Times Newsroom:

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

This is my dinner tonight; anybody got a problem with it?

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Today's timerick could possibly be construed as Marxist/Leninist: https://t.co/JZPNTjE14f

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

@jswatz @grahamtoday @timcarman @lreiley @ebaueri Today Valley Villa will feast on free bowls of my red bean chili con carne, with skillet cornbread on the side. Noon. You'll be burping after my meal slurping!

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

There is no chip shortage when it comes to those on people's shoulders . . .

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Haiku. https://t.co/6Rj5QKeaQo
じゃがいもの皮むき

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Peeling potatoes
peeling onions and carrots
I'm out of birdseed

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Peeling potatoes
and chopping onions today --
there's no hot water

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Peeling potatoes --
in the blood of scraped fingers
the spuds become bathed

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

I tried soaking jalapeno peppers in lemon lime soda to decrease the heat -- Did. Not. Work. Thanks, internet, for nothing.

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

If you don't have any principles, it's easy to stand up for ignorance.

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

@andrewfenton did you make s'mores?

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Haiku. 雨の中を歩く
https://t.co/zykiUai8m6

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Walking in the rain --
soggy green bushes huddle --
a long winter soon

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Walking in the rain --
the sad sound of gutter pipes
cheers me up greatly

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Walking in the rain --
the asphalt turns water black
as my sandals squish

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Today's Timericks. Guaranteed gluten free! https://t.co/R8E8Rj5aML

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

@Post_AG When you're in the fast food aisle/you may have to wait awhile/Understaffed and underpaid/servers are as scarce as jade/Do not tremble with surprise/if a robot serves you fries.

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

@pkcapitol Mitch McConnell, standing firm/causes Democrats to squirm/He don't care if we go bust/That other party he don't trust/And so our frail economy/will go 'ker-plop' for all to see.

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

@WillOremus The internet is full of cops/having fun with their black ops/While upon you they do spy/they will nab you by and by/for infractions or much worse/They know already of this verse!

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

Today's Timericks, freshly picked: https://t.co/RDqpsD7Dw7

[Timothy Torkildson @lefse911]

I ain't bought a hardback book/since the last Fort Worth chinook/The price tag is a horrid steal/I'd rather buy a Happy Meal/and a decent red merlot/while on my Kindle nice and slow.