Mike Moret

Welcome to the mind of Mike.

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

I’ve had the WORST experience with @squaretrade and need to share this. You guys need to have someone decent assist. I paid a lot of money for this protection that’s not protecting me at all.

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

@RNCResearch @benshapiro And how do you plan to do that? Telling them to? @KamalaHarris @POTUS 😂you went to fix inflation? LOWER ENERGY COSTS.

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

Guys…my cat just pulled an amber heard and 💩 our bed tonight

I think he was mad a toddler was in the house tonight

Or trapped himself in the room (I hope it was that)

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

I can be so different sometimes that I’m married lol. Tonight I’m out with wife and friends for drinks, 10 pm hits, group moves to a loud bar, I pull an Irish exit

Other me would be out bustin’ bohemian rhapsody karaoke at 2 am

But nah, Im thinkin bout Netflix and the cat😂

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

Y’all ever been schmoozing and cocktailing and just like man what I’d really kill to do right now is start some karaoke or dance on a stage??

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

Can anybody else see things between their wedding ring and finger? Nope?

Only me who had too much fried chicken and thanksgiving food the week I went ring shopping?

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

But seriously if google home had a madea voice tho…I’d pay for that

“Hey madea - turn off the kitchen lights”

“Boy how bout you get to lazy butt up and do itchaself”

@TPstudios @Google

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

I’d pay to have a madea version of google home.

When I ask it the weather in the morning, imagine hearing…

“Why’nt you stick yo’ ass outside and look for ya self?”

@TPstudios #justsayin

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

Oh look Obama 2.0 as president, midterm elections approaching and suddenly there are mass shooting massacres one after one. Hmm that’s funny timing…

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Listen, I can’t do miracles ok

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

This happened again today lol

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

Eating a croissant at Paris market in downtown savannah

Just sneezed like “le choo”

#truth

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

@RepMarieNewman Honnnnney he paid the biggest tax payment in history last year. And Where’s your voluntary extra tax donation? #crickets

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

@MattWalshBlog @benshapiro 😂

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

@elonmusk welcome. I joke everyone comes back to twitter now. May you foster actual free speech online

Facebook next? 😉

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

@PhilipsHotTakes SAY IT TO TO THE BACK
-The son of the inventor of crystal Pepsi

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

@PhilipsHotTakes can’t run in cold rain #blesshisheart

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

@meggo922 “Probably another damn auto warranty call”

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

@FreeBeacon Christmas ain’t actually about presents, toots. Is that what we’ve come to?!?

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

@totalfratmove She looks like the female tiger king

[Mike Moret @lemikemoret]

Every time I hear metal jingling I’m like *WHERES THE DOG”