kirÆ A-1312

normal person tweets

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

iso employment lawyer w the chops for me to set this as slack status and retire comfortably

[Buck @BuckOnTwidder]

adderall, glp-1, 600mg caffeine and acute cortisol poisoning so i can send slack messages like “gentle nudge”

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

covid test came back negative which means i got the underscores hantavirus strain

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

i didnt rly read this but i know this is a psyop. my trump shooter is popbase taylor swift undisclosed sponcon

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Taylor Swift’s record contract could lead to millions of dollars being paid to artists as UMG prepares to sell half of their equity stake in Spotify.

When Swift signed her contract in 2018, she negotiated a clause stating that any sale of UMG’s Spotify shares would result in a distribution of money to their artists, non-recoupable.

Her “non-recoupable” clause ensures that artists receive that money even if they still owe advances to the label that signed them.

(https://t.co/a6vxKX98qo)

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

desperate for the next quiet luxury Pilates clean girl to immolate

[Hannah Cox @HannahDCox]

Watching Gen-Z discover CBK is sooo funny because they’re all so desperate for the next quiet luxury Pilates clean girl to immolate (because they have no individual identities) that they do zero fact-checking.

If you’re going to immolate CBK her aesthetic was cocaine, Diet Coke, cigarettes, and beating men in Central Park. Put some respect on her name.

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

someone from jpmorgan keeps looking at my linkedin jamie dimon call off your dogs

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

seated with my ankles behind my ears

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

First look at Hannah Einbinder and Gillian Anderson in Jane Schoenbrun’s new film ‘TEENAGE SEX AND DEATH AT CAMP MIASMA’

The film follows a director rebooting a slasher franchise who becomes obsessed with the actress who played the “final girl” in the OG film.

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

i’m going to the gates of heaven with a crowbar and im bringing her back fuck u all

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Catherine O’Hara has passed away aged 71, TMZ reports.

[WOR$T GIRL IN AMERICA @slayyyter]

CRANK CRANK CRANK GOES THE TROLLEY!!!

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

@TMZ need @ClubChalamet to weigh in #SME

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

zuckers bagels enjoyers confound me. u are eating hardtack matey

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

putting him down like a horse with a broken ankle

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

stuck with this stupid twink qb and now i have to purchase a shake & go wig so i can sneak into the broncos locker room and siphon human growth hormone into the gatorade

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

stared in disbelief at a spot called jfk cannabis for approx a full minute. googled jfk shot to confirm im thinking of the right president bc i thought they’re implying their weed will make you feel like you were shot in the head. it’s just called that bc it’s by the airport

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

no it’s the person behind business insider’s wall street coverage

[Eren 💋 @erenfromtargets]

this is the person behind pop crave

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

was nobody going to tell me that nevel papperman is covering wall street at business insider.

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

white boy in my office saying inshallah…. zohran has successfully instituted sharia law in midtown

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

# shave your monkey monday doesn’t always fall on a monday

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

why did you ask me for an open relationship

[NBA Youngbob Official @bust_bob]

We’ve met before. At your house, don’t you remember?

[k @lmkwhenurhome]

i dont own a colander a vibrator or a wallet. and i dont know how to drive. stuff works out

[kirÆ A-1312 @lesbjork]

pizza w pasta on it….. we’ve given ourselves to gluttony. god isn’t coming back