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Loner with a Boner

[Caps Lock @LetThereBeFood]

Story of life in pics:
Baby pics-school ID-college ID-hat throwing-office ID-shaadi album-25 anniversary pics-senior citizen card-obituary

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@MotorolaIndia got my Moto G delivered today from @Flipkart, so far really good :-)

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@muskanupadhyay @manu_muralee Chutiya picture hai yaar

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Kudos to @gkhamba @thetanmay @stupidusmaximus @mojorojo and team for the new AIB sketch. Hilarious!!

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Sunny Leone has a double role in an upcoming movie with Tushar Kapoor and Vir Das. So it'll be two of them with 4 of those.

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Who said men like boobs? I've been trying to get rid of mine since years.

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If I worked at subway, I'd be fired pretty soon for correcting people's pronunciation of jalapeño

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Gillette walon, hazaar blades ghusa do razor mein, shaving will remain as boring.

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Dear Amir, marketing is fine. But it is shameful to mock hrithik by displaying his post divorce state in your latest movie poster.

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Bang bang would be the only movie in history where box office collections counting would start from -400 crore INR

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Husband:
Opens newspaper. 400 crore alimony news.
To Wife: Aaj Phir tum pe pyaar aaya hai.

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"How are you?"

Her eyes answered in 4000 letters and more.

Her lips just chose to in 4.

"I M OK"

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Rarely do u come across such things that make you keep away your phone and just think (after you've tweeted about it)

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

"There's no 'u' in 'favorite'" - coach telling his British son that he prefers his American son

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Have you ever had moments when you have so many thoughts in your head that you're completely thoughtless?

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@UdaasPriest rather besides a mannerless asshole

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Don't you just hate such people? "@AGirlOfHerWords: Oh god, people are so stupid with their ignorant, mindless hating."

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Yesterday I retrieved all the gold I had deposited in my bank locker. It just struck me that I too now am a Golden Retriever #drumroll

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Dear teacher, I could not attend school yesterday as I had lymphosarcoma of the intestines.
#ImaginingLifeInTheSeventies

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Agreed! "@priyal: #CLT Sapnon Se Bhare Naina - Luck By Chance. This song is so underrated"