Lewie Long

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

I let my easy Mac expire for a couple of months so that it's dangerously cheesy.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

There is a whole lot of Cis people in this Bud Light tent. I'm starting to think it was all over-hyped.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

Tennessee dealer plates in NYC. He must have made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

Buy me tacos and/or tell me I'm pretty l.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

Tempers are wearing thin. Let's just hope some robot doesn't kill everybody.

[Daily Stoic @dailystoic]

"If wisdom were given me under the express condition that it must be kept hidden and not uttered, I should refuse it. No good thing is pleasant to possess, without friends to share it." — Seneca

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

Oh good. The universe is kicking me in the crotch again. Yay.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

It feels like the universe keeps telling me to do stuff and then yanking it away. Mixed signal universe, mixed signals.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

With today's snowstorm I'm starting to finalize my plans to follow the coconuts on their migration to warmer climates next year.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

The real reason the government doesn't want wind turbines is because they knock out their robot bird drones and they can no longer spy on you.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

The amount of things that I'm getting to cross off my bucket list the last couple of years is starting to feel like the universe telling me to wrap it up.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

Filed my taxes last night. Guess I'll have to wait a couple more years to be elected to public office.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

In these Covid times if you ballance a broom on your face in the store are you then obligated to buy it?

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

President Harding faked his death in 1923 to go to space to use the Jewish space laser to carve Mt Rushmore.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

I've been hearing moving air all day. If I was a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man surely I would know right? Especially if I had sprung a leak. Right? Right!?!

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

We all know that birds are drones controlled by the government from the secret moon base. But what they won't tell us is they are becoming self aware and the robot war on humanity is coming soon.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

There is a secret government military base on the dark side of the moon where they faked and filmed the moon landing.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

I can't to own a house so I can mysteriously tell people they're forbidden to go in the west wing.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

DAAAMN. Everyone PLEASE PLEASE watch this.

[Lewie Long @lewielong]

Vaxed, taxed, and ready for snacks.