Alexis Perkins

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

I literally don't understand any of the outfits I've seen from Coachella? Why are people not wearing pants? I'm so confused. 😂

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@ChanTermini and that is how I know you are my best friend... Anger and violence is 99.9% the answer.

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@ChanTermini you have anger issues

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@daksmitty WOOOOO!!!!!!!

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@daksmitty hey, you're a good looking dude... Wanna take me on a date?

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@daksmitty hey

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

Is anyone else obsessing over the feathered brow trend like I am? Brb, not trimming my brows for a while!

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

HAHAHAHAHAHA 😂 https://t.co/50uBqd8X7m

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

It's 1:12 AM... I finally checked into my hotel. I get to my room and there's classical music playing and a bidet in my bathroom. Uh, what?!

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

If you're gonna edit your photos, don't be the asshole friend that only edits yourself. You look flawless and your friend looks like a blob.

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

*picks up beef jerky at airport*
*reads price tag*
*proceeds to register*

Cashier: "That's $10"
Me: "I can read."

Just ring it up. 😒

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

I'll give everyone a dollar to stop posting their cliché selfies with your "I Voted" sticker. 😒

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@iimAmanDUHH Hahaha, I'm a zombie 87% of the time. Thank God for Dr. Pepper and wine. Seriously.

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@iimAmanDUHH Lol, next weeks work week will be about an 70 hour week... I'll probably need it. 😅 Definitely looking forward to trying it!

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@iimAmanDUHH Omg, I just got ten times more excited! Can't wait to try!!!

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@iimAmanDUHH The stronger the better - I'm a dry girl! Pinot noir is my favorite. 😋

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@iimAmanDUHH THEY MAKE WINE? 😍

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

@iimAmanDUHH I'm traveling 5 days that week, so drankin' or whatever 5 bottles of wine is considered! 🙃

[Alexis Perkins @lex_perkins]

Why is my entire "Explore" page on Instagram flooded with the Kardashians? Go away, omg!