Lex

DUQ '21 🌈

[Lex @lex_xxi]

“You’re the reason I drink Alexis”
-my prof as I walk in late

[lynk @lynk0x]

WE'RE TIRED OF WINNING MR. PRESIDENT!!!

[Jason Harrison @nominalthoughts]

Great day for people who never buy things and don’t own any stocks

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Trump Says Recession Unfortunate But Necessary Step To Get To Depression
https://t.co/lsDNVDtvq5

[Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth]

Don’t cry about your past. Cry about your future. Everything is going to get a lot worse.

[Doctor Andromeda @cygnus_dr]

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

[Fake KDKA News @Fake_KDKA]

Would you be content if you died right now? The answer at 11.

[The Random Recruiter @randomrecruiter]

“I wished I commuted to the office to provide maximum shareholder value more often.”

[The Onion @TheOnion]

DOJ Designates Posting Photos Of Balding Elon Musk As Domestic Terrorism
https://t.co/iV3kiLHgl2

[∩ @zachpogrob]

'4000 weeks' is by far the most insane framing for how short life is.

[Reductress @Reductress]

Mommy Influencer Praying Measles Won’t Hurt Child’s Ability to Be Exploited For Content: https://t.co/sGXrXEOqIs

[BladeoftheSun @BladeoftheS]

The richest 3 people have more money than the poorest 4 billion.

But the problem (according to those richest people) is the poor people.

[Ana Mostarac @anammostarac]

I’m on a train and men are sitting in seats while women stand or sit on the floor.

The declining birth rate isn’t a mystery.

[Sam Stryker @sbstryker]

People who won’t give up their seats for delusional couples/parents who want to sit with their partner/child but don’t plan in advance are our strongest soldiers

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Trump Announces New Visa Tier For Immigrants Who Will Be Friends With Barron
https://t.co/IU12OsrdT8

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Call me a communist but I don't think your grandma's $1,100 social security check should be cut so that Elon Musk can explode another rocket

[Sean Padraig McCarthy @SeanMcCarthyCom]

Bill Burr: And another thing I don’t think corporations should dump chemical runoff in our drinking water

Guy on Twitter: Bill Burr has gone full communist

[tanya @Tanya_Sabrinaaa]

BREAKING: the US dollar comes out as transtender