Alex Woodcock

Woody's bi-yearly tales of woe

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

Is there a better feeling than owning a label printer? So professional.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

Summer poem by me.

Hours resisting itching, I gave in with a sigh.
Euphoric for a moment, now a swollen eye.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

@onepeloton please stop putting red hot chili peppers on every rock ride. Like 1 in 10 is too much but every single one. It’s not fair. @BenjaminAlldis @fitxkendall @emmalovewell pls

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

After a 20 year hiatus I’m back into marmalade in a big way.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

Easter always reminds me of one thing. And that is that I can’t remember anything at all, especially important figures or phone numbers. But…I do remember that 50201600 is the barcode on the back of a cadburys cream egg. 24 years after working checkouts at Sainsbury.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

I spent quite a lot of time the other weekend looking for a pair of shoes. I couldn’t find them anywhere. Turns out I never owned this pair of shoes that’s why I couldn’t find them. I had just thought about buying them.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

Shocked to discover I own 11 tables in and around my flat. (Including bedside tables)

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

@RickShielsPGA can you use portable launch monitors like the mevo and rapsodo on the course to help find your ball? If so please make a video to show how. Might be worth the investment vs lost balls. Cheers.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

@MNC20002 @MartinSLewis Working as an advertising freelancer my role is indistinguishable from an in house employee, but our contracts generally last between 1 week and 3 months, All of my work falls within IR35 rendering my ltd company redundant. It's a sticky situation.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

@MartinSLewis with IR35 looming and my ltd company no longer viable how should one dissolve a ltd company when I took out a bounce back loan to see out the pandemic when company directors were left with very little gov help in the summer?

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

@Mungkystuff Everyone’s gotta have a system innit

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

Today I put my t shirt on before I put on my pants. Felt so wrong but made me think, in what order do you get dressed in?

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

I would do literally anything not to have to empty the dishwasher right now.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

@mrkjms I don’t even know

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

Do you ever find yourself doing the exact opposite thing to the thing you had just decided you would do in your head?

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

How do I get away with being so disobedient?

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

For example I was just doing the washing up just now and thought myself ‘hmm I should wash up the chopping board before I do that next bowl as it’ll fit better in the drying rack. In the blink of an eye I look down and there I was washing the bowl again.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

Why won't the co op send me eggs on my deliveroo groceries? Everything except eggs every time.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

@itsnicethat It would seem your site no longer supports pinning images to Pinterest. I thought that was the main point of the site to find inspiration for creative projects. nightmare.

[Alex Woodcock @lexbefriends]

Is there any greater venom stirring Incident than someone parking in ‘your’ spot?