lex

from now on, I’ll be tweeting my thoughts. laugh if you must.

[lex @lexdoessound]

If I’m speeding, it’s probably because I got to the good part of the song and putting all my effort into singing.

[lex @lexdoessound]

Stalking the urgent care from a distance to see when they open.

[lex @lexdoessound]

As a society, why don’t we listen to @EarthWindFire more?

[lex @lexdoessound]

The arugula crisis was real today in #traderjoes

[lex @lexdoessound]

About to start an instagram for my cat.

[lex @lexdoessound]

The Capitol Hill Safeway parking garage is my safe space.

[lex @lexdoessound]

Anyone want a spreadsheet? In an excel mood.

[lex @lexdoessound]

On a bike… in a pompom beanie… in an oversized winter coat… with a bright multicolored fanny pack…
Still got approached by a guy who slowed his car next to me and followed me for a good minute.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(I’m fine. Just frazzled.)

[lex @lexdoessound]

My brother just called to ask about information sourced secondhand from twitter and my mother, He would do great as an investigative journalist.

[lex @lexdoessound]

My twitter feed is exclusively 2 things.
1. Twitter shutting down tomorrow
2. Taylor Swift Ticketmaster fiasco.
Seems like the end of the world to me.
#RIPTwitter #TaylorSwiftTheErasTour

[lex @lexdoessound]

This healthy relationship thing is WILD

[lex @lexdoessound]

Okay, but does your man agree to make a PowerPoint detailing his friend group because he knows you have social anxiety?

[lex @lexdoessound]

Telling my older male coworkers I’ve deleted my dating apps and them reacting like proud dads >>>

[lex @lexdoessound]

My favorite part of my week is updating my grandma on how many children Nick Cannon is having.

[lex @lexdoessound]

Dating in dc:
“What brought you to the dmv area?”
“Which museums do you want to visit this weekend?”
“Did you metro here?”

[lex @lexdoessound]

On eye contact: are you supposed to pick one eye the entire time or switch between both?

[lex @lexdoessound]

Sams Club induces stress in ways my exes only dreamed about.

[lex @lexdoessound]

Something that is irrelevant to most:
I’m much better at answering a call than replying to a text message.
On a similar note: I’m much better at giving you a call than sending a text.

[lex @lexdoessound]

I’m 22. At 12:30 am I chopped parsley and it gave me the serotonin I didn’t think existed. New coping mechanism?

[lex @lexdoessound]

The Uber eats commercial really got me today.

[lex @lexdoessound]

Tired of being a hopeless romantic and catching feelings. I would like to talk to upper management about unchecking that box. Thanks.