lex

there is a snail in my ear telling me to buy myself a little treat every day

[lex @lexicuted]

hitting the positive meniscus at nicks rn

[lex @lexicuted]

@loafyreal do you remember being at sports and telling me you were GOING to drop out and move to miami. at least stay in bloom this year twin

[lex @lexicuted]

@bambis5_1

[lex @lexicuted]

just beat @bambis5_1 to 70+ in 82-0 by knowing nothing and clicking people

[lex @lexicuted]

@loafyreal eventually you’ll equalize this epidemic #goethango

[lex @lexicuted]

i like putting a pic of bambi and i into my tik tok cause it always comes up with some “beautiful girl and her gay boyfriend”

yes exactly thank you for affirming

[lex @lexicuted]

@bambis5_1 @loafyreal makes my comment check out even more

[lex @lexicuted]

@bambis5_1 @loafyreal 🫪

[lex @lexicuted]

i can’t be in my hometown bc anytime i see someone i know i get pissed off

[lex @lexicuted]

@bambis5_1 proud of you for not succumbing to corporate slop this time

[Ms.K @mskmalibu]

I am simultaneously my family’s black sheep and the gold star, that’s exactly why I am the way I am

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

my daily routine:
1. ????????????
2. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[lex @lexicuted]

jestermaxxing by making a linkedin post

[lex @lexicuted]

@bambis5_1 yeah it was really sad :/

[lex @lexicuted]

drunk thinking about how i lie about how much i drink a week because i would be an alcoholic, and that i don’t tell my doctor i smoke because my life insurance would increase

[lex @lexicuted]

i feel like i’m one of the last people who’s not taking ozempic

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

Everything I say is a joke Unless you agree And in that case Speak to me privately I have even crazier ideas

[lex @lexicuted]

about to go to lunch with my coworkers (hr department). should i get a margarita

[lex @lexicuted]

sometimes i’ll look at my door/doors in general and think about how i made those the last two summers

[lex @lexicuted]

excuse me